I was blessed to come out of “retirement” to speak to Central Valley Presbyterian’s Women’s Encouragement Day yesterday, and the theme for the event was “First We Have Coffee.” There were tables decorated with favorite books, and such creative ideas they used!

I spoke on the life of poet Anne Bradstreet before lunch, then I spoke about the importance of poetry after lunch. While re-reading about the life of my favorite Puritan poet, a truly godly woman, I was inspired to write a poem about her, using her common style of couplets throughout. Here is my tribute to Anne Bradstreet:

Of her time – not past – lived Anne,
Her intellect equal to any man.
She loved her books, but her family more,
And by men’s praise she set no store.
Her dear husband head, and heart’s delight;
In adversity she walked by faith, not sight.
Alone so oft, her life mundane,
Yet Anne so seldom did complain.
She poured her thoughts out late at night;
Resolved on God to wait – not fight
Against providence, His sovereign will –
Submitting to that, she was fulfilled.
Let’s emulate her sweet disposition,
Not rebel and view it an imposition
To be constrained, a woman born,
Nor rant and rail and be forlorn.
Think of Anne, make this your story –
To use your gifts for God’s own glory.

Many of us are blessed to be married to men with chests…men who protect and cherish us and our families. This kind of man is becoming an anomaly in a culture which celebrates androgyny and is embarrassed by the differences with which God created men and women and intends for us to live. A God-hating society will reject that design and call good what is perverse, calling evil the masculinity of men and femininity of women.

One shining example of the beauty of God’s design for marriage and for men and women is the Chancey family. Both Matt and Jennie exemplify the joy of a union that glories in the complementary differences of a husband and wife. Jennie has beautifully honored her husband by nominating him for the Old Spice Man of the Year. If he wins, the cash prize will be donated to Persecution Project, a ministry to Africa which our family has supported for several years. The winner is chosen by online voting. I hope you will take the time to go to this site and cast a vote for Matt and for godly manhood. Read Jennie’s warm tribute to her husband and think about how you can honor and encourage your husband, too.

The contest ends tomorrow.

R.C. writes about the contest here (and about the nasty character assassination against a godly man and his godly wife for their bold stand for the distinctions I mention above).

Kim and Perry write more about Matt here. Thanks to them for this button.

–Friday, January 1, 1892
Clear and fine. I have a great deal to be thankful for–all the mercies of the year that has just passed. May I be more faithful this year that has just commenced. May my children repent and turn unto thee. Thou knowest how I want my children to give their hearts to thee and in thy good time wilt thou answer my prayers. ~Josephine Jordan

A page from Josephine’s diary

Josephine Jordan was a godly and faithful farm wife. She kept a diary, mostly one or two lines for each day recorded, of her uneventful in worldly terms but very busy life. She cooked on a wood cookstove, washed clothes by hand, sewed for her family with material ordered from a catalog, cared for sick family members, visited neighbors, and even though she didn’t have electricity, she was grateful to God for His many blessings to her. Reading through one year of her life, it appears she was frequently sick and in pain with various maladies, but her April 3 and 4 entries give insight into her faith: “Have a great deal of pain today. Must not complain.” and “Bless the Lord, oh my soul. He is so good to me.” There are many more entries like those. She also worried about her children and appeared to struggle with depression. Getting a small glimpse of how hard her life was, I feel guilty for complaining about the minor inconveniences of my pampered life.

Mrs. Jordan was the great-great-grandmother of Herrick Kimball. He has been republishing her diaries for his children to read, and here is what he says about her:

It’s worth noting that Josephine was not a doctor, scientist, inventor, entrepreneur, or politician (women could not even vote in 1892). She did not travel the world. She was not directly involved in any great historical event. She wasn’t even a good writer. The fact is, she never distinguished herself in any notable way outside the little circle of her home and family.

Which is to say, Josephine was an ordinary farm wife. As such she devoted herself to helping her husband, caring for her home, her family, and, at times, others in her community when they were in
need. She dealt with great tasks of cooking, washing, ironing, feeding, churning, sewing, and so forth–day after day, month after month, year after year.

It is the commonness of her life, her hard work, her self-sacrifice, her hospitality, and her devotion to faith and family that distinguishes Josephine–especially when viewed from the perspective of our modern culture where so many woman have, by choice or circumstance, refocused their daily work away from home and family.

In spite—or because of—all her concerns and prayers for her children, Josephine left a godly legacy of faith as her daughter Blanche did profess her mother’s Christian faith, as did her daughter, as did her daughter, as does her son, Herrick, who is passing on that legacy in his simple way to his sons and sharing his faith with many others through his writings.

What if every married Christian woman today, with far greater resources and comforts than Josephine, but many of the same concerns and trials, as well, was to singlemindedly devote herself to the great task of being a true helpmeet to her husband and relentless caregiver to her children, for the building of God’s kingdom? Why do we take so lightly the impact this would make on the world? I am glad I live in the time God has placed me, but in Josephine’s day, families kept most of their hard-earned money, killing one’s own baby in utero was not considered a woman’s right, sodomy was not celebrated, and divorce was rare. Today, Christians are encouraging a mother of five children to save those “traditional values” by turning her back on one of the foundational tradtional values: that the mother at home is not a luxury, but a necessity, for the health of her family as well as the health of the nation.

This is far more than just a “traditional value,” however. It is rooted in biblical soil that runs thousands of years deep. It is written plainly in many didactic passages of Scripture, through which we must view the anomaly of Deborah, the evangelical feminist’s answer to why women should make their mark without distinction in the business world, the civil sphere, the church, and the home. Now, some of my friends have become what Bill Einwechter calls “semi-complementarian,” to make allowances for Sarah Palin to be a political savior of sorts. Perhaps we should call them “semi-evangelical feminists” because they are using the same reasoning as the evangelical feminists I have been crossing swords with (so to speak) for so long. My friends have given ground by asserting that only in the home and church do women have biblical restrictions from leadership. Having read a great deal on the evolution of feminism, I wonder how long before they concede the church and home, as well. For some, perhaps not long. Al Mohler and D.A. Carson will be sharing the platform at an Alliance of Confessing Evangelicals Conference with Dr. Diane Langberg, where the three of them will also be sharing “God’s truths from Scripture.” But if we concede that one woman can defy biblical teaching to be a Deborah in the civil sphere, why not allow for others to be Deborahs, too, even in the pulpit. She was a prophet, you know, as well as a judge.

We need godly women to stop filling the pulpits and political offices, and get to work where we really need them. Homes and families are languishing for the lack of Christian wives and mothers taking their calling to those jobs seriously. Let’s get all hands on deck to fight the war where the battle is raging, where the casualties are piling up. Short-term solutions will not solve our deep-rooted cultural problems which stem from rebelling against God’s created order.

Some of our friends have a silly and rather crude game they play when they go out for Chinese food and read their “fortunes” on the little slips of paper in the cookies at the end of the meal. Whatever the paper reads, they add, “…in the bathroom.” “You will soon meet a mysterious stranger…in the bathroom.” “You will have great success in your career…in the bathroom.” You get the idea.

I thought of this game the other night when listening to shrill Hillary Clinton give her final concession speech—the one where she reluctantly pretended to be on Obama’s team—at the Democrats’ convention in Colorado. We don’t watch television so it was the only speech from the convention I heard as I was alone and on the way home from taking my dad to the airport; I turned on the radio and listened in maudlin fascination as the deluded woman promised the moon while ironically blaming the current administration for the massive national debt. Of course, she promised universal health care and took credit for dreaming up the idea which was her pet project as first lady, as well as promising clean energy, affordable college, ending discrimination, and other pie-in-the-sky campaign promises which prompted me to make up a variation of the fortune cookie game. Every time you hear a politician promise something they will do for you if you elect them to office, add these words to the end of the promise:

…at the point of a gun.

Where does the money come from for all these things? What if you decide you don’t want free health care, government grants for college, public school for your children, or social “security” in your old age? Can you tell the IRS to take a hike? Yes, that’s a rhetorical question. We all know that jack-booted thugs, or a reasonable facsimile, will show up at your door if you should choose to be so uppity and refuse to participate in the government’s largesse. Did you think that Hillary was going to open her Gucci bag and generously throw about her own personal wealth?

We all nod sagely and sadly and bemoan the fact that the former Wicked Witch of the White House and her socialist cronies might get their clutches on the oval office once again. I don’t want it to happen, and most of those reading this don’t want that to happen, either. But lo, and behold: hard on the heels of Hillary gloating over her historic speech given on the anniversary of the 19th amendment granting women the right to vote, and coming within shouting distance of that coveted place (oh, how she coveted it!), her thunder was stolen when McCain pulled a fast one on her and Obama.

He announced that his vice presidential candidate would be a woman.

Alaska governor Sarah Palin was a brilliant choice from a strategic viewpoint. Hillary and candidate Obama had just finished outlining their plan for a socialist utopia in the midst of a national economic crisis. Disaffected Democrat women didn’t get their feminist dream of a woman in the White House. Evangelical Christians have been dissatisfied with McCain as a Republican candidate and there had been some fingernail biting while waiting to see if he might go with a pro-abortion running mate or (gasp!) even Democrat centrist Joseph Lieberman as his VP choice. The poll numbers show yet another close race, and it had to be someone who could garner some of those nebulous swing votes.

Who better than a pro-life woman?

Oh, how it must have grated Hillary and Obama to praise the “historic” choice of a a female running mate for the Republican ticket. Both were quick to congratulate Governor Palin for receiving this honor. They had no choice because they understand that it is a huge step forward for feminism, and supporting that cause is life-and-death for anyone who wants to be a star in the Democrats’ universe. Governor Palin, a member of Feminists for Life, also understands the huge leap for womankind that her VP candidacy presages. In her first appearance with McCain, using a feminist catch-phrase, she paid homage to Hillary’s reference to putting “18 million cracks” in the nation’s glass ceiling by saying, “It turns out the women of America aren’t finished yet, and we can shatter that glass ceiling.”

Well, it is very true that politics makes strange bedfellows, and the euphoria over McCain’s announcement was overflowing in the Christian and pro-life community, folks who, for good reason, are quite concerned about the ill effects of Democrats controlling the executive branch of the country’s government. From Eagle Forum to Dr. Dobson, from the halls of Patrick Henry College to the shores of Biola in California, we hear hurrahs for the tough “soccer mom” who has wowed everyone with her conservative credentials and her support of the prolife cause, and especially impressive is her willingness to give birth to a precious fifth child which she knew would be born with Down’s syndrome, a diagnosis which is usually a death sentence for babies in utero.

There is a lot to like about the photogenic, telegenic, articulate, conservative, prolife, mother of five, wife of one man for 20 years, governor of Alaska. But I think that Christians who support her for this political office are destroying the prolife movement and harming the cause of families far more profoundly than any of the obvious enemies of those causes who recently met in Colorado.

Why is it that abortion is so prevalent and accepted in America today? What are the reasons that women “choose” to abort their babies rather than give birth to them and mother them? It wasn’t because one day a madness overtook the female sex and caused them to turn on their young. It was much more insidious and slow-moving than that. There are many moments we could point to in history, beginning with Eve’s emancipation by eating the forbidden fruit, for the genesis of the impulse to selfishly rid oneself of every encumbrance, including male headship and clinging children. But I think that the acceptance of abortion can trace its foundations more to Rosie the Riveter than to Roe v. Wade, which was only the culmination of independent roots that finally blossomed into wholesale slaughter of innocent children. Governor Palin leaving her home to become governor of Alaska, and “choosing” to run for second-in-command of the most powerful nation on earth, is not a coup for the prolife cause, despite her personal convictions, but it is the death knell of the the biblical family as an American institution, and will only bring grief to those who are trying to hold together the shreds of that family vision in the midst of a perverse society.

I know that my friends are now thinking that I’m such a party pooper, spouting such depressing nonsense in the midst of such a prolife victory, callooh, callay! Let’s slow down the galumphing for a minute, though, and examine this situation more carefully…

First of all, why would McCain pick Mrs. Palin, an untried figure on the national scene, as his VP running mate? I know that I’m not alone in my cynicism toward politicians, but during election cycles it does seem as if extraordinary madness and the delusion of crowds overtakes otherwise sensible people, particularly when demagoguery (manipulation through fear) is so skillfully used. “If you don’t vote Republican, then it’s a vote for Obama!” Though he voted for the Partial Birth Abortion Act, which prevents a few heinous murders of infants, Senator McCain is no friend to the prolife cause. He and his fellow Republican congressmen never supported Ron Paul’s Sanctity of Life Act which was introduced every year but ignored every time. He did, however, vote year after year to fund Planned Parenthood with federal money. Think he would appoint prolife judges? He voted to approve pro-abortion justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Stephen Breyer. And he has been a proponent of stem cell research using the bodies of aborted babies. When the Republicans had control of Congress for six years during the “prolife” Bush administration, why didn’t we see significant gains in the prolife cause? I will tell you…because in order to get elected by gullible evangelicals, the Republicans have to talk the talk at election time and keep the prolife crowd in their hip pocket. If Roe v. Wade is overturned, then they lose that ace in the hole, and the dupes fall for it every election cycle. McCain may be in his 70s, but he is not planning on dying in office. Politicians and journalists both act like they are going to live forever (thus, the shock among the fourth estate when Tony Snow and Tim Russert recently passed on in their 50s, and the reverence accorded Chappaquiddick Ted who has been stricken with brain cancer). As vice president, Sarah Palin will be a figurehead on the cusp of greatness but with no real power, unless she is called upon to break a tie vote in the Senate, and ironically she’ll be the hostess with the mostess, entertaining heads of state at Blair House. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (who is pro-abortion, by the way) ostensibly wields more power than Vice President Dick Cheney (who is pro-homosexual, by the way), though there is some conspiracy-nut speculation that is tempting to believe, that the current VP is the evil genius behind the Bush administration. In other words, Mrs. Palin is a well-calculated sop thrown to the saps who keep pulling the lever for the Republican ticket.

Second, if Christians support putting a woman on this ticket, and she should become president (as our friend Bret points out, McCain is pushing the limits of the average life span of an adult male in America), then we will have done what liberal feminists could only dream of: put a mother of young children—the youngest only four months old right now—into one of the most powerful positions in the world. While fighting the battle for the “traditional” family on the one hand, Christians would also be supporting Madame President whose husband (whom she already fondly refers to as the “First Dude”) and children would take a back seat to much more important matters of state. We will have to turn a blind eye to God’s explicit order for the family, of course, as outlined in places like Titus 2 where women are admonished to be keepers at home and obedient to their own husbands that the word of God not be blasphemed, because we have much greater things at stake, and in this battle it’s appropriate to put our trust in our horses, our chariots, and our swing votes. Once we’ve opened this Pandora’s box—or been complicit in smashing this glass ceiling—then good luck when the pro-abortion feminists use it as a stepping stone to grasp the reins of power. The pragmatic, short-term strategy might come back and bite us and we just might wish we had put our trust in God’s strategy for family order, established at creation, rather than the role-reversal which we find no biblical precedent for encouraging.

Third, I have heard so many parrot the Deborah argument that I am inclined to pick Deborah as my least favorite biblical personality, though I can’t quite bring myself to do that (I do, however, prefer Jael, who stayed at home and used her warm milk strategy to defeat the great General Sisera). I do agree that Deborah was a great woman of God, but she is in no way a role model for Christian women everywhere to claw their way to the top, though discontented Christian women in this feminist climate want to claim her as their patron saint. As a prophetess, she had direct communication with God, who divinely directed her path with special revelation. Such direct revelation is no longer available to Christians, as Hebrews 1:1-2 makes clear. The canon is closed, and we have all we need to direct us about how families should be structured, as well as how to select men to govern us in both the civil and church realms, written in the Holy Spirit-inspired Word of God. Here is what John Calvin said about the Deborah argument, which he must have had to deal with in his day, as well (commenting on I Timothy 2:11-13, quote found at Bayly Blog):

A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet. For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve.

If any one bring forward, by way of objection, Deborah (Judges 4:4) and others of the same class, of whom we read that they were at one time appointed by the command of God to govern the people, the answer is easy. Extraordinary acts done by God do not overturn the ordinary rules of government, by which he intended that we should be bound. Accordingly, if women at one time held the office of prophets and teachers, and that too when they were supernaturally called to it by the Spirit of God, He who is above all law might do this; but, being a peculiar case, this is not opposed to the constant and ordinary system of government.

Though she is not apparently the member of any church, one of the churches Mrs. Palin occasionally worships at is pentecostal (with women in leadership positions, I might add), thus, she may not be averse to an interpretation of the Bible which says God still audibly speaks to people today, but close scrutiny of Scripture does not support such teaching. Deborah’s rule was a shame on the men of Israel, a judgement of God on an apostate nation, and not a model for us to embrace.

Speaking of models, my last argument against supporting this decision is that for the “conservative” crowd to promote the model of family life portrayed by Sarah Palin is hypocrisy of the worst kind, and removes all ability in the future to oppose the liberal agenda which aims to undermine the biblical family model. How clever of Senator McCain, who at one time attacked George Bush for pandering to the “agents of intolerance” in the “Religious Right,” to pander to the same crowd who put Bush in office. By using the one issue which carries the greatest weight with the evangelical voters, McCain may have succeeded in undermining the very group for which he has shown such contempt in the past while using them to achieve his aims.

Does God ordain the means as well as the end? If so, then we are not free to use our own strategies and devices to achieve even the very important goal of ending abortion in this nation. Yes, we are blessed to still be able to use the political process to work toward maintaining (or regaining) freedom for ourselves and our children, and we should vigilantly use those means, but not by being religious vigilantes. God will not bless the aims of feminism, neither the conservative nor the liberal varieties, as the “I did it my way” theology undergirding both leads to death, and can never be prolife. Jesus is still King, no matter who is elected president. Let’s not be like the foolish Israelites and demand another king. That king may make nice promises, but it doesn’t turn out well in the long run.

Essential reading on this issue!
Sarah “Serpico” Palin and the Christian’s Quandary: Part 1 by Pastor Bret McAtee
Sarah “Serpico” Palin and the Christian’s Quandary: Part 2 by Pastor Bret McAtee
Sarah “Serpico” Palin and dthe Christian’s Quandary: Part 3 by Pastor Bret McAtee
John McCain Picks Mother of Five and Member of ‘Feminists for Life’ as VP Candidate by Doug Phillips
A Comparison of Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin’s Speeches on Feminist Political Objectives and Victories to the Men and Women of America by Doug Phillips
Did McCain Make a Pro-Family Pick? by Pastor Voddie Baucham
Woe to My People by Jennie Chancey

I got this email today, and I know others are struggling with similar issues: what to do when there are no like-minded people to go to for wisdom and encouragement, and what if we have made decisions in the past that we regret but can’t easily change?

I NEVER once heard the idea of letting God determine the size of one’s family and thought 4 children was enough. My husband dismissed what his parents taught him in this issue and thought about how difficult it is to feed and clothe the 4 we have. Unfortunately, he had a vasectomy 3 years ago. I discovered teachings on God controlling the womb last year and have repented. My husband has also repented of this sin and we are at a loss as to what to do next. He is 40 and I am 34. He works 50 – 65 hours a wee and we live VERY frugally. We don’t have the money to pay for a reversal and by the time we saved for it, would I even be able to conceive?

I have two thoughts on this.
1) Sin has consequences that many times cannot be undone. I’ve repented and I should just move on even though I am filled with the deepest regret. Would having the reversal just be us trying to control again?

2) Have the reversal as a way of repenting and showing God that we trust Him fully and our family is in His hands.

Our (Christian) friends think that we are absolutely insane. After all, you need to provide for the children you already have. I really can’t turn to our pastor or our elders. They all have 1 – 3 children, by choice.

We really need wise, Biblical advice from a godly person and would love to see you post your opinion on this.

Hi! I am so glad you wrote as I can tell this is something that is weighing on your heart and you are struggling with how to deal with a situation that is very hard and has no easy answers. Either one of your thoughts about how to deal with it have merit, but one thing you don’t directly mention that is so very important is what your husband wants to do. It sounds like he works very hard to provide for your family, something for which to be very grateful, and one way to let him know how thankful you are for all he does is to gently share your concerns, but be willing, and let him know you are willing, to accept his decision regarding what you ought to do in your circumstances.

I do believe that ideally Christian families should be willing to accept what children God chooses to bless them with. We have been in difficult circumstances when I was pregnant with my sixth baby, and my husband’s business was failing and we lost a house and needed to move. God provided for us then, and we have had four more children and been blessed financially, as well as had some financial downturns. I don’t believe our financial circumstances ought to be the determiner of our family size, as those circumstance can change for anyone, as can health, family dynamics, and many other real-life trials that everyone experiences. I don’t want to minimize the trials, as they can be very hard, but they are part of our sanctification, as well, sovereignly ordained by God. And every child I have borne has been sovereignly created by God, planned from before the world began.

I once had a conversation with a dear friend who was agonizing over whether or not to have another baby because she wasn’t sure if it would be “God’s will” for them to do so. I told her that I didn’t think she could conceive a child apart from God’s will. Does God create a human being unless He wills for that to happen?

I have several friends who have had surgery to stop having children, then regretted that and repented, having reversal surgery done. Some have conceived and some have not. As always, that is in God’s hands, too. There are those who decide that they will not use birth control and then find, to their surprise (and sometimes their disappointment), that they are not able to have more than a couple of children. If that is what God ordains, then they have the “perfect” family.

Right now, even though you are convicted of cutting off your ability to bear children, you also have the perfect family because it is the one God has chosen to give you. It is good to desire children but not to demand that God give you what you do not have. Even though you have tried to circumvent God’s will for your family size, you cannot really circumvent His will for your family. When you truly repent of sin, He forgives you, and you need to believe that and remember it every time you despair over what you have done. You need to be thankful for the children you now have and teach them diligently about trusting God in all circumstances. If you are longing for more children, and if you believe that the right thing to do is pursue reversal surgery, then you need to have your husband’s support, of course, and the best thing to do, in my opinion, would be pray for the finances to become available. If he is not thinking about this the same way you are, then you can pray for God to change his heart but also pray for your own contentment and peace with this circumstance.

There are so many ladies in the same boat as far as not having like-minded support and encouragement in their area, let alone their church. Many I have talked to yearn to move to somewhere they imagine will be more perfect, with friends and mentors to counsel and comfort them. This is not a bad thing, but reality is that there is no perfect place and no perfect people, and even the churches filled with big families have big problems, too. I know this is true because I know how imperfect I am and my children can tell you how often I disappoint them! And in our family we tend to agree on almost everything, though the little annoyances can be that much more annoying if you have too much in common. We are never satisfied, are we? That is why, even though you may be in a place where your “radical” opinions are not understood or appreciated, you are right where God put you and you have a great opportunity to show love, forbearance, and maturity to those who are watching the weird lady who thinks four children is not enough .

Praise God for the internet…in spite of its many problems, we can find some encouragement from afar from kindred spirits, and go back to our real lives with some fresh courage and determination to please God in all things, even though we have imperfect lives and wish we could rest from our worries. But this battle in this life (sometimes called a “vale of tears” by the Puritans) is real and ongoing. God gives us rest and is our strength when we trust in Him. Don’t give up dear sister, but be a light for those around you, beginning in your home, with the dear ones you are charged to love and care for. I hope my words are encouraging to you. Don’t forget that God gives wisdom to those who ask.

In Christian love,
Carmon