This was the devotion I gave at my daughter’s bridal shower last year. The theme is from a talk Michelle Duggar gave at a ladies’ tea, and I’m posting it now in honor of her continuing example of showing us how she chooses joy as she honors God by loving her husband and her children.

Daddy has always told his girls that every girl dreams of her wedding, but what she gets is a marriage. You have grown up with a sensible view of weddings, one that sees them as special celebrations of the gift of a covenant marriage, both solemn and joyous. Like so many things in this life, there is a godly tension between the seriousness of the vows you will make with Kyle and with God, and the fun festivities of the wedding feast. That’s where we will share a covenant meal with you both, topped off with wedding cake, a picture of the Feast we will share in Heaven with our Bridgegroom, Jesus.

But it’s still one day, then there is the rest of your life to share with your husband, and, Lord willing, the dozens of children he blesses you with, the ones I am already calling my little Wicklings.

There will be lots of feasts and celebrations in the Wick family. You know very well how to celebrate with gusto. Before we tore our house down, you used to get up every morning bright and early and wake us all up with your singing! Special times, though, will be punctuation marks in the mundane dailiness which you’ve heard me speak of often, and which we have lived together for 21 years. That’s where the rubber meets the road, so to speak. So I am speaking to you today not of romance, though we have talked of that together and I know you and Kyle will do well in your wooing after you are married. (more…)

I must have a recessive art gene with the titles of these last two posts. Don’t ask how I know it’s recessive…

After the grumpy rant about conservative women who tear down their houses (and other women’s, too) with their own hands (see Prov. 14:1), while ostensibly promoting family values, I think I ought to qualify my pessimistic post with a spritz of hopeful optimism. It’s tempting to throw in the towel some days when we focus on the discouraging news bombarding us every day. Bad stuff happens. If we study history, we will see that it has always been so. So what have God’s people done when the going gets depressing?

Yesterday I mentioned the story of Jael. There is another story from history you should know about, the story of Athanasius’s lonely fight against heresy. You can read the amazing tale, and you should read it to your children too, in John MacArthur’s book The Truth War (scroll down to the section on the Arians). You will see how close the church came to falling into irrevocable heresy, except for the stubborn tenacity of one man who stood against the entire world. Athanasius contra mundum.

From that close call came some of the greatest creeds of the Church, affirming truths that are still under attack but still held tenaciously by many, many more than just one man standing alone in the gap.

When the outlook is bleak, should we turn tail and run away? Is that what Deborah did…or Jael? Maybe we need to change our perspective.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. –II Corinthians 12:9-10

If the world is embracing death and rejecting children, our families will stand apart as a testimony to the blessing of children and the provision of God in caring for them.

If the world is encouraging women to blur the creation distinctives that make them feminine, then we will be beautiful pictures of the loveliness of proper submissiveness in marriage and contentment at home.

If the world is turning to the government to care for every need from cradle to grave, we will boldly refuse to take those hand-outs and become slaves to the state, as our allegiance is to Christ alone and we can trust Him to provide for all we need.

Do you see what an opportunity we have in the age in which God has sovereignly placed us? We are called to good works just as the saints of old were called. Don’t shirk them because of fear of man. Be grateful for every opportunity to shine the light of the gospel of Christ in all you do each day. Through His faithfulness to the Word of God, Athanasius was not only against the world, but he changed the world. It may seem like we are alone sometimes as we counter this culture, but look up to the heavens with Elisha’s servant and see Who is on our side.

The nomad and the anarchist accuse the domestic ideal of being merely timid and prim. But this is not because they themselves are bolder or more vigorous, but simply because they do not know it well enough to know how bold and vigorous it is. –G.K. Chesterton

Have you ever sat too long in the doctor’s waiting room and resorted to browsing through a children’s magazine, desperate for something to read? (For the sake of my example, we’ll assume you never even considered cracking the cover of the ubiquitous People magazine beckoning on the table.) Remember those mind-bending — to a five-year-old — puzzles which show two similar pictures, but in the second picture there are some differences which you are supposed to spot? What’s wrong with this picture? is the name of the game, and some of the changes can be quite subtle, making a mature woman spend way too much time poring over those junior periodicals and missing the nurse’s call when the examination room is finally free.

Ahem.

Life mirrors art, and I’ve been thinking of how we can get the wrong impression if we don’t carefully examine the picture we are presented by those who paint a scenario they want us to believe in.

Last January I happened to be in Washington, D.C. with my daughter and a family friend during the annual March for Life. As ardent pro-life supporters, we knew we needed to join with the thousands of others on the Capitol Mall and by our presence, at least, show that we were on the side of life and unborn babies. It was encouraging to be among so many people who oppose abortion and want to see it stopped. But as I listened to the speeches from the podium, I grew restless and frustrated. I had heard the same speeches before, many times, over the past couple of decades. “If we only elect so-and-so” or “If we only get rid of so-and-so” were the most common refrains. That seductive stick with the juicy carrot of judicial appointments which could overturn Roe v. Wade was waved about several times. Most of the speakers were women.

I turned to the girls with me and looked them in the eye, and quietly gave them my take on the things I was hearing. Abortion in all 50 states throughout all nine months of pregnancy was declared “legal” by the Supreme Court in 1973, 27 years ago. Some in the pro-life movement claim minor victories as some abortion mills close down or statistics show slight decreases at times in the number of abortions, or Congress passes a law banning partial birth abortion. But reality is that we still have the blood of over one-and-one-quarter million babies each year crying out from the ground (Gen. 4:10). I told the girls that legal action to stop those deaths would be a wonderful blessing, but I don’t believe anything will change until the hearts of women who want those abortions are changed. They don’t want their babies. Why?

I notice that more and more of the leaders of pro-life and pro-family organizations are women. They are articulate and gifted women, skilled at public speaking and good at rallying the troops, like Joan of Arc or Deborah. It doesn’t take being a Sherlock Holmes to make a reasonable deduction that in order for these women to hold those leadership positions, they have to devote a lot of time and energy to their careers. That doesn’t leave much time for home and family. I will get in trouble for saying it, but I can’t help noticing that the empress is wearing a business suit and not an apron. And these are the women who are supposed to encourage women inclined to end an inconvenient pregnancy to instead sacrifice their time and energy in order to have a baby. Titus 2 for the twenty-first century.

That is one way the picture has some subtle changes from what we ought to see: many of the spokeswomen for the blessing of babies are living a lifestyle which portrays the feminist dream of power, prestige, and leadership in the public realm, a lifestyle which is not conducive to family life, let alone so-called “traditional family values.”

This brings me to a related issue which skews the picture our conservative friends are crafting: the whole-hearted endorsement of so many women for political office in the recent elections.

The frequent mention of the anomaly of Deborah during a time when every man was doing “what was right in his own eyes” has become a din almost as annoying as those vuvuzelas at the World Cup. She was one woman called out by God when there were no men with the gumption to take the lead and fight the scary Canaanites. Today, we have numerous women stepping into positions of leadership in every realm, but the real phenomenon is the strong support of so many conservative Christians for female political leaders, to carry the banner for those “traditional family values.”

I do not think it means what you think it means. –Inigo Montoya

The most prominent Deborah, of course, is Sarah Palin, who is angling for the highest office in the land. She recently proudly proclaimed herself a feminist. As she travels around the country giving high-paid speeches to tea party activists anxious for political hope and change, she speaks of “empowering women” and a “a new revival of that original feminism of Susan B. Anthony.” Unfortunately, that feminism laid the ground-work for the feminism of NOW, Hillary Clinton, and Gloria “A Woman Needs a Man Like a Fish Needs a Bicycle” Steinem.

And I know I will get in trouble (again) for saying it, but what about Baby Trig, single mommy Bristol, and husband Todd? What are they doing while Sarah is taking on the liberal establishment and reclaiming feminism? Who is holding down the home fort?

We hear a lot about Deborah today, but not so much about Jael. Some friends just had their fifth baby the other day, and her middle name is Jael. That same day, I was in a store and the young woman who was the clerk had a name tag that said, “Jael.” I commented on it and told her about my friends’ baby. The clerk, who sported several tattoos, was touched and told me her parents named her for the woman in the Bible, and she said she needed to go back and read the story again. I encouraged her to do so.

Do you know the story? After Deborah rallied the troops and encouraged General Barak to stop hiding behind her skirts to go after the Canaanites (she did NOT go into battle herself), the Israelites kicked their numerous behinds (i.e., “routed their troops”), and the enemy General Sisera ran for his life. Tired and scared, Sisera was given refuge by a woman named Jael, who lured him into her tent with assurances of safety. She kindly offered him a glass of warm milk, which every woman knows has soporific effects, and this time was no different. Soon he was sawing the logs, and Jael put an end to him with a tent peg to the temple. It’s not a story often told in Sunday schools, which may be why Deborah is more well-known than Jael.

This tale set in the context of a time of great turmoil and apostasy in Israel begins and ends with a woman. Deborah herself pointed out the irony of victory coming at the hand of a woman. Not exactly an imprimatur for future generations of women leaders. And the second woman stayed home and finished the job, using her domestic skills to foil the enemy. Imagine that.

What is it we are wanting to accomplish? Do we want to address symptoms or causes in our quest to set things straight? First we need to agree on which picture is true and which is distorted. We need to portray a lovely picture of the blessings of being a woman at home, having babies, being content as the helpmeet rather than taking the lead. We need to understand the great power in that privileged position and see God’s great providence at work as He brings opportunity knocking at our door, without the need to gallivant about looking for greener pastures or quixotic quests. Faithful service over a couple generations will generate greater hope and change than dozens of political campaigns filled with the same old platitudes, wrapped in a different package for a new crop of gullible voters.

We need more Jaels, not Deborahs.

Except to Heaven, she is nought;
Except for angels, lone;
Except to some wide-wandering bee,
A flower superfluous blown;
Except for winds, provincial;
Except by butterflies,
Unnoticed as a single dew
That on the acre lies.
The smallest housewife in the grass,
Yet take her from the lawn,
And somebody has lost the face
That made existence home!

–Emily Dickinson

Whenever I talk about the importance of women embracing the wonderful “career” of being a keeper at home, there is usually some snide feminist who interprets my exhortation as an attempt to incarcerate them in their domiciles. For those who have not been keeping house, it may be understandable that such a prospect is unattractive. I don’t know what the future holds, but with the economic instability we are now experiencing, I see signs that the freedom to roam far from home may become restricted for many people who have been accustomed to a lifestyle that is far from home-centered. It may be time to reacquaint ourselves with the charms (or potential charms) of blooming where we’re planted.

I’ve been enjoying the great tips from Crystal’s website, Money Saving Moms, especially as we have been trying to be more careful the last few months while watching the signs of the times tend toward hardship for many. She linked to the frugal blog called “Life From the Roof,” written by a young wife and mother who lives in the Bay Area, just a couple hours from us. She posted a poem that reminded me of the message with which I try to encourage other mothers who sometimes grow weary in well-doing at home. She aptly referred to it as “The Freedom of Limitations.” It’s the sonnet Nuns Fret Not at Their Convent’s Narrow Room by William Wordsworth:

Nuns fret not at their convent’s narrow room;
And hermits are contented with their cells;
And students with their pensive citadels;
Maids at the wheel, the weaver at his loom,
Sit blithe and happy; bees that soar for bloom,
High as the highest Peak of Furness-fells,
Will murmur by the hour in foxglove bells:
In truth the prison, unto which we doom
Ourselves, no prison is: and hence for me,
In sundry moods, ’twas pastime to be bound
Within the Sonnet’s scanty plot of ground;
Pleased if some Souls (for such there needs must be)
Who have felt the weight of too much liberty,
Should find brief solace there, as I have found.

Have you ever felt the weight of “too much liberty”? How do God-given limitations differ from those imposed by a tyrannical state?

In case you thought I didn’t know how to straddle the fence, I agree and I disagree with Chris on the direction the discussion about Mrs. Palin has gone. He says:

Let’s not talk about unjust, unconstitutional acts of war. Let’s not talk about the raping of U.S. economy. Let’s not talk about the growing tyranny of illegal wiretapping, increased surveillance, or the draconian Patriot Act. Let’s not talk about Habeas Corpus. Let’s not talk about the criminality of the Federal Reserve System. Let’s not talk about the overwhelming amounts of corruption, lies, homosexuality, and pedophilia amongst the Conservatives. No, let’s talk about the fact that Gov. Palin is a woman and her place is in the home.

So, if Palin was a male, what exactly would we be discussing? Not much. He/She would fit the bill to draw sufficient support from the Religious Right and help McCain shore up his liabilities with mainstream Christianity. But because Palin is a woman, our most astute theological commentators are positioning her candidacy along gender lines. The end result? Their audiences continue along the path to “Conservative” statism and tyranny because their readers cannot see the forest for the trees. They think the entire political issue is resolved once they settle on the candidate. In the meantime, statism goes without critique, because to the Religious Right, it’s not statism if it’s run by Republicans.

I don’t think Chris was talking about me, but for the record, our family started Backwater Report four years ago to point out those very things. Reading a lot of comments (code word for “arguments”) the past week about this nomination, I think that many who are not for jumping on the McCain bandwagon just because Mrs. Palin is the baton twirler are noting the very concerns that Chris outlines. However, the rush by many conservative leaders to embrace Mrs. Palin’s nomination while holding their noses over McCain, and justifying it by using the “exceptional ruler,” Deborah, means that another just as compelling issue has come into play, that of ignoring or minimizing for convenience some explicit areas of Scripture in order to support the candidate of their dreams who happens to be a woman. It is this autonomous thinking which is the problem.

The feminist issue as well as the statist issue both must be addressed, because both go back to what God says is important, how He places limits on governments as well as our roles as men and women. It all matters. As long as we make it up as we go, even for good causes such as stopping abortion or stopping terrorists, we cannot be blessed by God. He makes the ground rules for how governments function, whether that government is the state, the church, or the family. God has given us plenty of lawful things we can do for His glory within all those realms, both men and women. We must be patient for Him to accomplish His goals, in His time, remaining faithful in the places He gives us to serve Him. If we grow impatient as we see disarray and turmoil and around us, we must remember Saul’s impatience and learn not to repeat his folly:

He waited seven days, the time appointed by Samuel. But Samuel did not come to Gilgal, and the people were scattering from him. So Saul said, “Bring the burnt offering here to me, and the peace offerings.” And he offered the burnt offering. As soon as he had finished offering the burnt offering, behold, Samuel came. And Saul went out to meet him and greet him. Samuel said, “What have you done?” And Saul said, “When I saw that the people were scattering from me, and that you did not come within the days appointed, and that the Philistines had mustered at Michmash, I said, ‘Now the Philistines will come down against me at Gilgal, and I have not sought the favor of the LORD.’ So I forced myself, and offered the burnt offering.” And Samuel said to Saul, “You have done foolishly. You have not kept the command of the LORD your God, with which he commanded you. For then the LORD would have established your kingdom over Israel forever. But now your kingdom shall not continue. The LORD has sought out a man after his own heart, and the LORD has commanded him to be prince over his people, because you have not kept what the LORD commanded you.” (I Samuel 13:8-14)

Yes, we need to keep all the issues in mind, but some of us may be called to fight in different parts of the battle. Keep your eyes on the links in my sidebar, though, where I occasionally address some of the related reasons our family would not support McCain for president, even if the choice he made for VP was a man with the same positions as Mrs. Palin.