I agree with trusting the Lord even after a miscarriage. I just had never been told to wait three months so never knew the reasoning (if there was any) behind it. I always ask why when a dr. or my midwife tell me anything (usually out of curiosity). We have friends that also have a “large” family. They miscarried a child about a year and a half ago. They were told to wait for three months, but they didn’t and got a great baby girl too:)

Dear Molly,

I have been praying for you.

It can be so overwhelming to have a physician tell you not to get pregnant for a year. I don’t know your “condition.” The thing to do is be praying and reading the Word with your husband. Talk about your fears and everything with your husband. I know my husband often has a great way of dealing with the facts. The other thing I would urge you to do is get a second medical opinion. That OB is not the only one out there. You need a practitioner that will respect you and your Biblical view. I am particularly blessed to have a christian midwife. I miscarried a “bilighted ovum” once. It basically means that the child conceived died almost immediately after conception, but the placenta and amniotic fluid kept forming. If I had a OB, I would probably have been advised to not get pregnant for at least three months. I conceived right away and got a wonderful daughter out of it. I did have twice the amnionic fluid with that pregnancy. I have a few friends that after they have miscarried they are advised to wait at leat three months before “trying again.” I have always wondered why. That is another thing. If you are unclear on why you should wait a year, get that answered! Find out what your OB fears could happen. You might find that their reasoning does not agree with yours. Never leave a practioner’s office without all your questions being answered. If you can’t think of any at the time, call back when you do have some. Write them down if you need to. Remember that they are doing you a service and you (or your insurance) is paying them for it. They are not your mother, your husband or your god no matter how they try to make you feel that they “know best.” The best way I have dealt with a dr. on an issue is a)talk to my husband and that we agree to ask (and get answered) certain questions b)meet with the dr. c)take the list d)have the physician answer my husband. Hope this helps you. I will be praying for you and your husband on this.

Molly, I have strong opinions here but I would just like to say to study the scriptures. I think you will find that it is not foolish but indeed what God requires of you. For a good list start at http://www.valerieslivingbooks.com/heritage.htm. God will not be taken by surprise if you become pregnant – indeed He will have ordained it from before the foundation of the world and made it come to pass. Valerie J. has much wisdom here and one thing I clearly remember her telling me was that when we want to make exceptions to the rule it is because we assume that death to us or a child is the worst possible thing that can happen to us, but it’s not. Assume you trust God. What are the possibilities? 1)You never conceive. 2)You conceive and everything goes fine. 3)You conceive and have severe complications. 4)You conceive and you or baby dies. Is there anything in scripture which tells you that you are free to ignore the command to be fruitful in order to possibly avoid the above situations, all of which can, and often do, still occur with birth control use.

It is foolish and presumtious for a man who is hungry to sit on his couch and watch tv all day and expect God to feed him. He has been commanded to work if he wishes to eat! We on the other hand have been commanded to pursue fruitfulness, to seek a godly seed. We are to “be fruitful” just as we are to “be kind” and “be Holy”. We trust God to deal with the increase of all of these things, as He is pleased, as we joyful obey Him. We know from scripture that for the Christian death is not the worst thing that can happen to us. We are required to uphold life but not to avoid death and/or injury at all cost. I heard something the other day on the radio about a child whose father had been killed in some sort of martyr situation and someone told him that it was better his daddy was dead than dishonored before God.

As for NFP I believe it is unbiblical. See 1 Cor. 7. They do boast a 98% “success” rate but I’m not sure that matters – God does as He is pleased. If He is pleased to give you a child you are going to forget the schedule or the condom or whatnot and conceive. You are going to be that 2%.

Molly, I don’t know anything about that issue, though I think Tamara has dealt with it. Are you there, Tamara? Maybe Valerie J. has some insight, too?