I’m really not this bad, but this kind of cautionary tale helps keep me in line. A few months ago my bookselling buddies visited a house where an old lady had indiscriminately collected so many books that her son had to climb in and out of the window to bring them out for my friends to peruse.

“A man who says he sells books and magazines on the street was rescued after being trapped for two days under a mountain of reading material in his apartment.”

Written for the entertainment of my daughter, to take her mind off her plight. Praise God it wasn’t appendicitis, as we first suspected!

Late-night journey,
Hospital trip.
Daughter on gurney,
Machines that blip.
Tummy’s aching,
Head hurts, too.
Fever, shaking,
Not the flu.
Poke in arm—
Ow! That hurts!
Squeeze my marm;
I.V. squirts.
Joking nurses,
Smile peeks through.
Sickness curses,
Blesses, too.
Waiting, boring…
Feeling sleepy.
No chance of snoring,
This place is creepy!
Virus maybe,
More tests—groan!
Not a baby,
But take me home!
Enteritis,
Icky stuff.
Of bugs that bite us
We’ve had enough.
Back home early,
Resting more,
Praying God surely
Will health restore.

When we have sickness in the house, I often take time from poking and prodding the invalid du jour to poke around the internet looking for information about the malady. While doing this I found several interesting articles to share:

Mary Starrett on the efficacy of pharmaceuticals and vaccines. She makes special mention of the much-touted flu vaccine.

Dr. James Howenstine on some possible side effects of vaccinations which are not even mentioned in the small print.

Jeffrey Tucker’s home remedy for the flu.

Dr. Mercola with even more advice about fighting those nasty germs. I want to know if anyone tries his advice about what to put in your ears when you come down with influenza. He again reminds us to avoid sugar (don’t use it to help the medicine go down!) to keep your immune system strong. Don’t you love hearing that advice this time of year?

I’m also putting a link to Dr. Mercola’s blog in the sidebar.

I’ve noticed that it’s time to list the “best books” for the end of the year. I have to admit that my tastes are so lowbrow that even reading some of these lists makes me yawn. I doubt I would make it through the preface of many of the recommended books, and I consider myself a bookish gal. The more I read, the more I know that I haven’t read, or something like that. A few books on these lists look intriguing, though, so here you go. Anyone is welcome to list their favorite books read in 2003 in the comments section.

Andrew Sandlin’s list
Bill Clinton’s 21 favorite books
ABE Book’s staff’s favorite picks
Top 50 bestselling books at ABE
Books and Culture’s annual roundup, Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four is still to come
Marvin Olasky’s Christmas treadmilling
From last summer, Gene Edward Veith with Western culture’s top 50 books
*Update: The last in the series from Christianity Today.

If reading these lists has made you dizzy, let me spin you back the other direction with this laid-back list of the Friedrich Family’s top ten picture books (you can find other top ten lists here):

The Maggie B. by Irene Haas. A little girl wishes on a star and gets to sail in a cozy little boat with her “dear baby” brother, James, practicing her domestic skills. Watercolor illustrations enhance the dream-like tale which includes some Longfellow poetry.

The Little Fur Family by Margaret Wise Brown, illus. by Garth Williams. First published in 1946 with a faux fur cover, it is again being published with a furry cover, making it not only a cute story of a funny little creature with a loving home, but a comforting toy to clutch in chubby hands. It’s teeny-tiny size makes it easy to pop into a bag or a pocket.

A Kiss For Little Bear by Else Holmeland Minarik, illus. by Maurice Sendak. The illustrations resemble old-fashioned woodcuts, and the animals are lifelike while conveying human characteristics. The kiss is delivered to Little Bear, from his mother, in a round-about and amusing fashion. The skunks who hold up its delivery are precious.

Little Tim and the Brave Sea Captain by Edward Ardizzone. I have reviewed this book at my reviews page. All the Little Tim books are wonderful!

The Church Mouse by Graham Oakley. The books in this series are very collectible, although some have been reprinted. They are still available at many libraries, and we were excited to find many at a library book sale a couple of years ago, in excellent condition. The mice in the story really reside in a church with a (usually) friendly cat named Sampson. The illustrations are very detailed and add a great deal to the enjoyment of the story, with funny asides and extra dialogue, as well as humorous touches with the author’s British humor quite evident. When I bring out these books (they are so valuable I put them in a special location), my children fight wait patiently to read them .

Make Way for Ducklings by Robert McCloskey. Another classic story, about Mr. and Mrs. Mallard who go to great lengths to provide a safe home for their babies. The Boston setting, the realistic illustrations by the author and the delineation of proper family roles make this book a treasure.

The Young Artist by Thomas Locker. For older children. The paintings are reminiscent of the artists from the Hudson River School of Art, particularly Thomas Cole or Albert Bierstadt. Read the Amazon review by my son, Hans.

The Grouchy Ladybug by Eric Carle. Everyone knows about the author’s The Very Hungry Caterpillar, but this story about a ladybug who woke up on the wrong side of the leaf is my favorite. She can’t find anyone to take up her challenge to fight, so she keeps finding bigger and bigger creatures to challenge. The book is cleverly designed to show the passage of time during the day, and a whale’s tale is built into one of the pages to make a big splash!

Barn Dance! by Bill Martin, Jr., illus. by Ted Rand. Every child dreams of toys that wake up while he is sleeping. This is about an entire farm that comes to life after everyone has gone to bed…but the skinny kid can’t sleep and he stumbles upon the animals and the scarecrow having a dance. Rhyming and bouncy text makes this a very lively read.

Henry the Explorer by Mark Taylor, illus. by Graham Booth. Henry is a little boy who thinks of himself as an intrepid explorer in his very rich imagination. He leaves home quite well-prepared to meet any challenge, with his faithful dog, Laird Angus McAngus. With their inexhaustible supply of flags to claim new territory, they calmly face a real adventure. This is another out-of-print (OOP) book which has become highly collectible, although I noticed a used copy is available at Amazon for good price. There are a couple other books about Henry, as well, and they should be easy to find at the library.

There have been times I have fantasized about owning a real bookstore, but something always knocks that delusion right out of my head. This time I was rudely awakened by the unromantic “picture” of a skinny burglar in his birthday suit stuck in a bookstore’s chimney. He claimed to be attempting to retrieve his keys, but his light don’t shine too bright, and his flimsy excuse didn’t do much to cover his exposed hiney. I doubt that he was hoping to steal any intellectual stimulation…he probably wanted to find a cash box to purchase a different kind of stimulation. Instead, he got booked for his trouble.

My bookstore bubble is further dashed when I think about the business end of the proposition. My Christian principles would not allow me to carry many books which are money-makers for most bookstores. Romances? Out. Metaphysical? Out. Most bestsellers? Out. Left Behind? Left out. It may not be profitable to carry some of these books, however. It appears that occultic books and those on the subject of “alternative lifestyles” are the most-filched books in stores and libraries. I read one discussion which speculated that it was because close-minded Christian types were practicing vigilante censorship and removing the books to destroy them. Interesting theory, although I take it with a grain of salt since the conversation was among liberal “information science” students who appeared to be good at throwing around lots of initials but had little to say about actual books. They don’t even call themselves librarians anymore.

I sometimes wonder why more books aren’t stolen from libraries. With the eBay explosion and other online marketplaces, many people are making money selling books from home. I often have checked old books out of the children’s section of my little library, knowing that they were quite valuable. There is no system in my branch library for demagnetizing books so there is no alarm system to catch someone sneaking out with a rare book under his coat. Of course, the library markings and the wear of most of the books there provide some protection as they are not as lucrative as the same books in better condition.

Some have given into temptation to pinch rare books from more prestigious libraries. In the mid-90s, a man who was married to a fine arts student at the school stole $750,000 worth of rare books, prints and maps from Harvard University’s library system. He actually mutilated many of the books by removing plates from them to sell to art dealers. About the same time, a well-known musicologist and former BBC radio host was taking books from Oxford University’s Christ Church College, where he was a lecturer. Both book thieves were caught after selling the precious volumes. An even greater scoundrel was “Skeet” Willingham, Jr. who was a pillar of the community and head of special collections at the University of Georgia. In the 1980s he stole and sold up to a third of the library’s Confederate collection, destroying library records to cover up his dastardly deeds. Sentenced to fifteen years behind bars, he was out of circulation for 30 months then given parole.

While I have nothing but contempt for these vulgar villains who do not appreciate the true worth of a good book, I can almost sympathize with Stephen Blumberg, who carried his bibliophilia too far and became a bibliomaniac. He stole books from 268 libraries in 45 states and Canada, taking property valued at about $20 million (in the early 90s). According to an associate who turned FBI informant, “It was his habit to read constantly through the night, cat-napping, waking, reading, dozing, waking, reading again, never fully sleeping. He did not sell any of the books, but stored them neatly in his 17-room home [with 13-foot ceilings] in Ottumwa, Iowa, and in stashes elsewhere. His ambition, according to Rhodes, was to become the greatest rare book thief of the century.” Blumberg was very selective about the books he took, focusing on Americana. He even developed a “want list.” I think Peter Jackson should make a movie of this guy’s life.

Most of the books Blumberg stole were never missed, and his successful bibliokleptomania highlighted the security flaws of most libraries, especially those with such irreplaceable collections. He spent several years in prison, despite his defense of insanity, and if you (unlike me) believe that insanity should ever be used as a defense, he certainly fit the bill. He recently was arrested in Mississippi for stealing a doorknob.

Once upon a time, in the Middle Ages, when books were so precious that they were often chained down, curses were written in books by the scribes who copied them. This was to frighten away potential thieves. Perhaps these biblioklepts ought to be trembling in their boots (if they are wearing any…remember the first thief I mentioned?) at the words of a book curse such as this:

For him that stealeth a book from this library, let it change into a serpent in his hand and rend him. Let him languish in pain, crying aloud for mercy, and let there be no surcease to his agony till he sink to dissolution. Let bookworms gnaw his entrails in token of the Worm that dieth not, and when at last he goeth to his Final Punishment let the flames of Hell comsume him for ever and aye.

I think I’ll play it safe and stick to the boring but honest way of acquiring books: library sales, thrift stores and ABE.