The silence often, of pure innocence persuades, when speaking fails.
~A Winter’s Tale

“Don’t make me repeat myself!”
“I’m grumpy in case you can’t tell.”
“Did you brush your teeth?”
“Is your room clean?”
“Go pick up your room.”

I took an informal poll of my children about the words they most often hear (or remember) me saying during the day. I need to work on “I love you” more, I guess. This is the honest version.

I’m sorry for posting so many links to videos the past few weeks, but my life has been crazy and I’m now ready (Lord willing) to slow down. I can’t read enough books on the run. And though my running has been for the benefit of different children, the whole family needs Mommy to slow down now, too. Isn’t that one of Life’s dilemmas? How to meet the individual needs without neglecting the common good, and vice versa. It’s one of the issues the founders of our country struggled with, and they were better men than I. Well, you know what I mean.

I just returned from a quick trip north to see a couple of plays in Ashland. Wonderful, wonderful (said in the most Jimmy Durante-ish tone you can imagine, if you are old enough to remember). Middle muffin mix Jo and I went with some of our oldest and dearest friends, and spent some loverly time with some of our newest and sweetest friends in Redding, which was even better than the Shakespeare we enjoyed so much. We were glad we listened to a Ralph Smith lecture on Romeo and Juliet in the car on the way, because it made so clear how the play full of oxymorons was not about the sadness of thwarted young love, but it was about the idolatrous lust posing as “true love,” meeting the inevitable consequences of its rash impatience. The Tempest was the perfect blend of comedy and the serious themes of lust for power and forgiveness. We watched it in the outdoor Elizabethan theater just after a perfect downpour, perfect for making the setting for the stormy story much more real.

So, here’s the link to the video I want to share (note: the website also has some crude and not appropriate humor, like YouTube, so please use caution). If you thought Newhart was funny, you will laugh twice as hard at this (if you are a mother). Make sure to notice the standing ovation at the end. It had me roaring.

I also want you to know this link, as most of my good (and funny) links do, came from my husband, with whom I am so knit in love and unity, we share not only common values, but also the same sense of humor, something I highly recommend when you grow old together with someone.

What are some of your most oft-repeated sayings?

I may be incognito for a couple days, and so I would like to give you an invitation to visit some friends while I am gone…

First, Colin (and Gunn brother Euan) and Emily have finished their movie, The Monstrous Regiment of Women. It is a semi-finalist in the San Antonio Independent Christian Film Festival, and your blog hostess makes an appearance as one of the “commentators” in the film. Colin promised he would make me look good, and I sure hope he did some movie magic on my bit part. It’s a bit intimidating to be in that lineup, with some friends as well as some other rather impressive women such as Phyllis Schlafly and Mary Pride.

If you don’t know much about John Knox, and you have the mistaken impression that he was a rabid misogynist because of the phrase he coined which the Scottish Gunn Brothers borrowed for their film title, then you need to listen to these sermons from our friend, Pastor Joe Morecraft.

Next, I suggest you click on over to Stacy McDonald’s blog and read the exciting announcement about the book she and Jennie Chancey have completed and which will be available soon. I helped a bit with some of the editing, and I think it will be a tremendous encouragement to Christian women who are struggling with the many attacks, overt and subversive, on their role as wife and mother. If my short list of ideas for how you can make your home a center of ministry and productivity was at all helpful, this book will give you much more in the way of practical help in seeing the value of what you do, and it also provides an important biblical foundation for the reason we follow this path.

I am very impressed with the wise words of Kim’s husband, Perry, at In a Shoe. He explains quite well (quoting our friends the Baylys) the responsibility of a Christian blog owner to not ignore biblical standards of proper communication when we are online. As my own wise husband has said to me ever since I began this blog over six years ago, when the medium was still new, what you say there is just as public as if you wrote it on the bathroom wall. Great harm can be done to people by writing nasty things about them, whether on the bathroom wall or on a blog. I have not perfectly practiced restraint in the thousands of posts I have written, but over time I have become much more aware of and careful about how I speak of others. It’s just as possible to violate the 9th commandment not to bear false witness, on the internet as it is in person. That is why I do not allow my comments section to become a free-for-all criticizing others, and since this is my “living room,” I expect visitors to be kind to me and my friends here, just as I would if they really came through my front door. I also don’t have time to monitor extensive disputes, so my policy is if a discussion becomes heated or I am not physically able to continue it, I respond to the salient points and bring it quickly to a close. With many words, sin is not absent.

For the record, the Friedrichs are friends of Vision Forum and we wholeheartedly support that ministry. We have great confidence in Doug and Beall Phillips, and we are very grateful for the tremendous job they are doing in defense of the Christian family, which is under relentless attack in this society from many quarters. To call into question the fact that they focus on family issues is just as ridiculous as calling pro-life groups to account for focusing on abortion, or taking missions organizations to task for their evangelistic focus in other lands than America. The body of Christ has many parts, and if a person has a calling to minister in a certain area, and does so passionately and to God’s glory, that is a blessing to all.

I am excited to see that our friend R.C. Sproul, Jr. is writing another book. He is a gifted writer, able to zero in on issues and creatively lead the reader to see the problem and its biblical solution. I believe (and I know a few people who will shake their heads in disbelief at this, but it’s absolutely true) that R.C. is one of the most humble (and tenderhearted) men I have ever met. The excerpts from his new book were written, I’m sure, with his own heart in mind as he penned the words. How about this part:

It is a perennial temptation. We tend to judge the relative importance of a given sin in proportion to the likelihood that we are tempted by it. Most of us, for instance, find armed robbery, adultery and arson to be seriously bad stuff. Slander, gossip and envy, on the other hand, we think of as small potatoes. We do much the same thing corporately. That is, we think the gutless preaching at the local mega-church is a great evil, while the heartless orthodoxy we practice is a peccadillo.

There are relative demerits to sin. Jesus, we remember, condemned the Pharisees for neglecting the weightier matters of the law (Matthew 23:23). On the other hand, the better scale may well be more personal. When Jesus calls us to remove the log in our own eye before removing the speck in our brother’s eye, He may be suggesting that more important than the importance of the sin is its closeness to us. Even if our sins are “smaller” than those of our brother, because they are ours, we need to focus on them.

Consider the Reformed church. There are any number of descriptives that come to mind when we think of the Reformed church. We are the persnickety crowd, taking great care always to dot our theological I’s and crossing our theological T’s. We are also known for being fairly cold. We are called, “The Frozen Chosen.” It is, of course, a good thing to be theologically careful. It is one thing to be sloppy when thinking through the content of a Dr. Seuss book. It is altogether another to be sloppy with the Word of God. But if we were careful with the Word of God, we would know that theological precision not only does not excuse a cold heart, but makes it all the more a matter of judgment. We would know that obedience in one area does not atone for sin in another.

In I Corinthians 13 the Apostle Paul gives us a list of peculiar strengths a person, or group of people might have. We could be strong in knowledge and wisdom. We could be gifted orators. We might be selfless in our giving. And if we have not love, it’s all junk. We do not fix the problem by getting more knowledge and wisdom. Increasing our oratorical gifts won’t solve the problem. Giving even more won’t solve the problem. We do not fix our weaknesses by trying to highlight our strengths. We certainly don’t fix our weaknesses by complaining about the weaknesses of others.

He didn’t ask me for any help with editing, but he’d better send me a signed copy .

Okay, that makes me think of another sermon by Pastor Morecraft you should hear: Abounding in Love for One Another. Anna and I listened to it together yesterday (she listens to his sermons for fun…if he was a rock star, I’d get worried!) In it, he reminds us that if we are reformed but not making sacrificial efforts to love the people in the body of Christ, we are nothing. Hanging out your theological credentials as an advertisement is just as dopey as those stoopid church billboards that my friend Cindy was pulling out her hair over. Theology is really important, but one of the first things it should teach you is to love the brethren.

That’s the gist. I am happy to commend you to all the above as reliable, thoughtful, and yes, sinful people, who will bless you as they teach and encourage you, and they will do so with the lessons they have learned, often through trials and tribulations of their own, but with love, imperfectly given as they are limited by the same infirmities which limit us all, but sacrificially given for the love of the saints.

For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another. ~Galatians 5:14-15

There is a lot of confusion and misinformation floating around about what being a keeper at home entails. It is not surprising to hear worldly women who are all for choice, mock the choice to work as a wife and mother within the home by portraying it as an insipid life filled with drudgery, not at all challenging or intellectually stimulating. Though a resurgence of interest in homemaking seems to be occurring in mainstream America, with interest in domestic skills such as cooking and decorating even becoming trendy, there is a disappointing trend in the opposite direction in the church, which always seems to limp a few steps behind the world, tagging at those ragged coattails in a quixotic quest for acceptability (some have dubbed it being “relevant,” though that lame excuse does not scan when the music changes before the dance partner has even noted your presence in the room). Christian young women are increasingly seeing home and family as just another option among many competing, and more interesting, pursuits they might follow.

I have a lot of theories, as well as questions, about why this is happening. Most puzzling, and disturbing, is that many young ladies whose mothers made great sacrifices to give them an excellent home education, setting an example for how women can be productive and creative within their homes by serving their families, are now forsaking that example to follow a path that resembles the world’s expectations for modern women, except that they justify their choice to leave behind a home-centered life by insisting that if they followed in their mothers’ footsteps they would be wasting their God-given talents.

It’s time for another addition to the Prairie Muffin Manifesto. My intent is to encourage those who make the very unpopular decision to be women who keep their homes, who embrace the ministry of serving God by serving their husbands and children and local churches within the parameters set in God’s Word by precept and example. It’s not rocket science, but just because we take at face value what the Bible says about our role does not mean we are simpletons to be pitied or derided. We have chosen a good thing. It is a rich life and it is a life with great rewards:

49) Though there are those who would portray the life of a Prairie Muffin as dreary drudgery, not meant for those elite women who are truly “gifted,” we know that there is a wealth of riches to be found when we embrace this home-centered calling. There are many aspects of life at home which are mundane, repetitious, and sometimes unpleasant. The same is true of any job, even those which receive a weekly paycheck. But the privileges and important responsibilities of work anchored in home responsibilities soon outshine the difficulties which are really opportunities given by God for our benefit and sanctification. We are blessed to be at home where so much productivity takes place.

I promised a two-fer post…I haven’t posted a Top Ten list in ages, so here are ten ways a keeper at home can make her home a rich and productive place of godly service. I’m sure you all could think of even more:

Top Ten Ways to Be Productive at Home

1. Education: Dr. Allan Carlson has chronicled the decline in the family, and he notes the change from home-centered activities and work due to first fathers and then mothers leaving the home and turning the teaching of their children over to “experts,” to the detriment of relationships in the home and the ultimate demise of cultural values. He sees homeschooling as a positive return to a family economy of sorts, reclaiming the important functions of household cohesion through working in this primary function of learning together, rather than outsourcing huge amounts of time to social engineers. Many homeschool mothers have also discovered that their own educations are greatly enhanced (a well-known benefit to those who teach others) as they learn along with their children. They also have more time to read good books.

2. Financial rewards: The accepted wisdom is that it takes two incomes to keep a household running. While the tax burden in our statist society does make it difficult to make ends meet, the cost for a woman to work outside the home is often higher than the income she might bring in. For any family, there are many economic contributions a homekeeper can make to help her husband, who is called to be the primary breadwinner for the home. Some have home businesses or help in a family business. Others become frugal shoppers, from groceries and clothing to insurance and real estate. Women can use their time to make their husband’s salary often stretch much further than the amount of money they might bring in from a job which takes so much time and energy they end up having to spend more on convenience food, eating out, gasoline and car upkeep, wardrobe, and other incidental expenses which come from working outside the home.

3. Hospitality: The ministry of hospitality is not optional in the Bible. We are to share freely what we have with others in order to bring glory to God, especially other believers. It can also be a tremendous opportunity for evangelism. Many Christians do not even know their neighbors. Our homes can be resources of service, but someone needs to be home to make it happen. One of the qualifications for eldership is showing hospitality, as is a qualification to be a widow worthy of support.

4. Creativity: The world seems to be getting the idea that one’s home can be an artistic canvas. A plethora of home decorating and cooking magazine and books are available with ideas for domestic bliss, ranging from the simple country style to elegant and ornate. While much of this advice is overdone and materialistic, there is a gold nugget of truth in the notion that we ought to create beauty within our homes. The purpose is not to present an untouchable showpiece to evince envy in others, but we imitate God’s creativity when bring beauty to our homes and we minister comfort (strength) to others—our family and friends and neighbors—when we bring order out of chaos in our sphere of influence, as we invite them to partake of the beauty we offer. In addition, the homekeeper has more time to add special touches to meals, to learn and practice skills which are forgotten in the busyness of modern life, such as sewing, knitting, quilting, and gardening. Music can be another means of beautifying our homes, whether it’s on a CD or even better, produced within our own family.

5. Spiritual pursuits: While she may not have a glamorous “ministry” in a foreign land, the keeper at home is nevertheless busy in important ministry work. First, she is intimately involved in the spiritual training of her children, modeling as well as teaching them the Gospel and obedience to God in every area of life. She also has the important job of praying for her family, praying fervently each day for their spiritual well-being and other requests regarding their daily lives. She also has a love for her local church and finds opportunities to serve there depending on her season of life, but always building loving relationships within the body of Christ, teaching the younger women and learning from the older women. She is especially aware of the blessed opportunities for humbling which come from the daily interactions at home, and she learns to be content in the place God has given her.

6. Romance: There is this silly idea that it is much more glamorous to be in a career, particularly one which involves travel and power lunches. Those poor shoulder-padded, besuited women don’t know what they are missing. It is much better to be besotted with your own husband, spending time and energy on pleasing him, rather than worrying about making finicky clients happy in endless meetings and never-ending projects. Make a project out of loving your husband, remembering the special romance you enjoyed when you first loved one another, and renewing that love in a deeper way by showing him how important he still is to you. Learn again what he likes to talk about, what food he prefers, how he wants to spend the evening with you. When you expend that effort to let him know how special he is to you, you may find that your husband is much more romantic than you believed he could be after all those years of marriage.

7. Health care: This is controversial, and I am not saying that you need to avoid doctors and hospitals, but you can avoid them more often if you gain some basic skills and practice some common sense about taking care of your family’s health. Some find that home is a fine place to have a baby, and it can be very exciting to have a home birth, and very challenging learning about and living through the details of childbirth, whether at home or in the hospital. Every family has to endure illness, and a wise mother learns how to discern whether a doctor is needed or whether she can deal with the sickness at home. Though there were many superstitious old wives’ tales regarding how to treat certain illnesses, there also was once much more practical knowledge about how to deal with common fevers, scrapes, sprains, aches, and other health problems. There is much to learn in this area that doesn’t take a nursing or medical degree.

8. Gardening and animal husbandry: It doesn’t take a lot of land to grow some vegetables or even to raise some animals. Not everyone feels called to the agrarian life, but once upon a time it was unusual for homes even in neighborhoods to not produce some of their own food. We live in a time now when we can run to the store in a few minutes and buy almost any kind of treat that our heart desires, and taking care of a garden seems like a “fruitless” and unnecessary pursuit. But, as the Paul Overstreet song says, it can be a way of “Sowin’ Love” for your family, teaching your children many lessons about patience, hard work, and responsibility. Home-grown food can sometimes be much more flavorful and a reminder of the richness of God’s blessings as you watch the entire process, from seed to harvest, unfold. Caring for animals (and this can include pets) is a reminder, too, of compassion for beasts, nurturing creatures who depend on us totally. The tenderness many children feel for their animals is worth cultivating, and sometimes the death of those animals, whether to provide food for the family, or the loss of a beloved pet, is also a vivid reminder of the consequences of sin and the hope we have in God because of the immortal souls He has given us and our salvation through Christ.

9. Organization: This is not the most popular aspect of keeping a home for many women, but it is an important and necessary aspect of it. One of the consequences of the sin of our first parents, we well know, is that there are now a lot of weeds to pull as we do our work. Within our homes these weeds manifest themselves as dirty laundry, piles of papers, toys littering the floor, dirty dishes, and even squabbles among our children. We never lack for something to straighten up or straighten out. But just as our husbands need to find contentment in their calling and not complain about the trials that accompany it, so we ought to roll up our sleeves and determine to tackle those things that always need our attention. There is great satisfaction in a job well-done, and though some of those jobs never seem to end, we can take proper pride in bringing order out of chaos, keeping our homes running smoothly and not allowing life in our dominion to spiral out of control. If we don’t do it, then who will? We must not denigrate the crucial task of directing and organizing our homes.

10. Counselor: Dr. Laura is a household name, for dispensing advice and helping those who seem unable (or unwilling) to help themselves. She seems to rely on a lot of good old-fashioned common sense, mixed with a bit of exasperation for those who foolishly insist on violating her brand of morality. Well, you don’t need to have a title in front of your name or millions of listeners in order to be a good counselor. The only title you need is “Mom,” and your listeners may only be counted on both hands (you might need some toes if you are really influential, or so blessed). As a Christian, you are in a far stronger position than Dr. Laura to give good advice, even if you haven’t heard of Piaget or Pavlov. The important thing is that the law of kindness be on your tongue, and your advice works best if you practice selflessness as much as possible, something in which you probably have received much practice already if you have a few children. Unfortunately, it is a skill which cannot be mastered, and sometimes you need to use some of the counseling skills you have learned on yourself. If that’s the case, you might want to forego Dr. Laura and try this much more practical advice from psychologist Bob Newhart: “Just stop it!”

I have a growing stack of underlined books on the chest at the end of my bed, which I really want to review for you all and add to my pitifully small (for someone who purports to be about books) list of reviews. One of the books, recommended to me by a seatmate on the plane ride going east, purchased at a Books-a-Million in Arlington, Virginia, is The Lost Painting by Jonathan Harr. It is the true story of the fascinating search for a missing masterpiece, painted by Caravaggio, an Italian painter of the early 17th century. I started the book on our trip and finished it after returning home. The story has a lot of behind-the-scenes information about the art world and museums, which was especially interesting to read when we had just visited the National Gallery of Art.

Daniel in the Lion’s Den, by Peter Paul Rubens

In the National Gallery, we have several favorite paintings that we visit (that’s the royal “We,” as I makes sure all my children get to see these particular works when I take them there), and one of my many future wanna-do projects is to add them to my online art gallery. These works include Rubens’s “Daniel in the Lion’s Den,” Renoir’s “A Girl With a Watering Can,” Cole’s “The Voyage of Life” series, Mary Cassatt’s “The Boating Party,” and the only Leonardo Da Vinci painting in America, “Ginevra de’ Benci.” On this trip we saw a Spanish painting I hadn’t noticed before, and it was very moving for me. I have met several people who are going through the heartache of a rebellious or prodigal child, and the beloved and comforting story the the return of the prodigal son was beautifully portrayed by Bartolomé Esteban Murillo:

One of the reasons the Caravaggio painting had been lost for some time was because the artist, though very well-regarded in his day (for his art, not his temperament), had lost favor…his popularity diminished and so did the value of his work. Then some critics recognized his genius, helped others to see it, and he became well-known and collectible once again. During his time, his style was controversial because he was one of the first to portray his subjects with flaws, true emotion, and dirt. I don’t know if Murillo was involved in or influenced by the Italian art world (I would think so since Italy was such an important center of art training in that time), but by the time he painted “The Return of the Prodigal Son” half a century after Caravaggio’s work, his prodigal had dirty feet. Make sure to click on the “detail images” of the painting to see the expressions on the faces, particularly the joy and love in the face of the father who is happy to welcome his son home.

I’ve talked before about the blessed privilege of washing the feet of our own children, who perpetually seem to need cleaning. Aren’t they a living picture for us of our Father washing us, repeatedly forgiving us and cleansing us of our sin? I’m glad this picture shows the dirty feet. I can picture that forgiving father taking his repentant son out of this scene and personally washing the muck from his feet, and I am encouraged to find joy in my calling to do that each day with each one of my dear ones. There is no greater job in the world than that humble task.

Toot your horns and shake your tambourines—Cindy’s back! Clever girl posted a poem (beautifully written by her, truly) for her first item upon her return. That’s the way to get comments on a poem instead of utter silence. I’ll have to try it sometime.

If anyone is still looking this way, I might direct your attention to the sidebar where I have been posting links with a short comment to different stories and oddities I run across (the odd things are usually sent to me by my husband). You will find it under “Food for Thought,” which is my renaming of the “my del.icio.us” links. And yes, it was Cindy who gave me the idea to put it there as I enjoyed checking out the links she has been posting during her break.