by Antonia Cunningham
Exactly What Constitutes Female Speech and Writing?

There has been a lot of discussion lately on various blogs regarding what is biblically appropriate writing material for women.

I always love hearing sermons about the story of creation. We read about a God who, simply because He wants to, creates everything we know to exist in six days and very good. On the sixth day He created man in His own image and likeness – not just men, but women! What a privilege to be made to reflect God’s holiness, righteousness and wisdom! And how wonderful, that after Adam’s Fall, we’ve been redeemed and are co-heirs with our brothers in Christ!

That is the extent of our equality with men. That is how we are the same. And with all the beauty contained in that equality, it should be no insult to us that that is where our equality with men ends. Functionally and economically we are subordinates, made to be so by the same God who calls us mankind, made in God’s image and likeness.

I have been deeply encouraged and sharpened by the intelligence and wisdom that my sisters in Christ possess and communicate by God’s grace. It is a sign to the world that the leaven of the gospel of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has had a great impact on our nation. Alexis de Toqueville, author of Democracy in America, attributed America’s greatness “to the superiority of her women.” Christianity has demonstrated the ability to lift the American woman higher than any other religion. I believe this is due to two theological points: 1. The doctrine of the Trinity with ontological equality and economic subordination in the Godhead which serves in a way to show human equality and subordination; and 2. Christ’s incarnation, which uniquely and beautifully demonstrated a God who served and sacrificed for His people. No other religion other than Christianity teaches a Trinitarian love relationship with a chain of command, and no other religion teaches the doctrine of Christ taking to Himself a body and a reasonable soul, humbling Himself to serve mankind. A man with this religion will treat others -especially women- greater than himself, realizing that if Christ came as a servant, a Christian man had better serve, since no slave is greater than his Master.

I’m not going to go into how men and women are different, because we all know we are!
However, in order to communicate my point, I’m going to use the words, “hardness” and “softness.” As Christian women, our speech and our writing should communicate God’s holiness
righteousness and wisdom in a softer way than men’s speech or writing does. Unfortunately, because men’s speech has become soft, women have answered with harder speech. The results have been disastrous for our nation, as preaching and writing in the Church has become softer and softer to the point where much of it is heretical.

When I say that women should write softly, I do not mean that we should not be using big words or hard facts. Nor does it mean that we shouldn’t rebuke ungodly behavior or write on certain subjects like theology, philosophy or history. What I do mean, is, our writing should have a certain quality of nurturing, intimacy and friendliness to it. When Christ took on human flesh and walked among us, He perfectly demonstrated God’s Law-Word to us in nurturing, intimate, friendly ways. You can almost see the disciples with their mouths open, thinking, “So this is what Moses, Isaiah…. etc were talking about!” Obviously men who preach, teach and write should be Christlike also, but as women, we have the unique privilege of nurturing as helpers to Christlike men.

I have some ideas for writing in a more feminine manner, and I am speaking to myself more than anyone, because each woman must look at her own heart and walk. If you are gifted as a woman for writing on a certain subject, you should evaluate your writing for biblically feminine qualities. Do you merely state, report and expound on facts and opinions, or do you intersperse the subject matter with anecdotes about yourself and your home and family – a cute statement a child made, a decorating idea, how the Lord is sanctifying you, an enjoyable outing with your husband or a girlfriend, etc? Is your material meant for your sisters in Christ? Do your female readers get to know you from your writing, or are they simply hearing facts or your opinions on issues? Are you communicating that although you have knowledge or a good command of a certain subject, that you’re someone who wouldn’t mind having dinner or spending an afternoon with someone who doesn’t? In other words, is your speech and writing something that would sound better from a pulpit or lectern than it would in the dining or living room with food and beverages and the sounds of happy children or music playing in the background?

I think that as Christian women today, it’s often easier for us to talk and write about cold, hard facts. Not nearly enough male Christian speakers and authors are doing it well, and many of us women have had to study and learn about different things on our own or from a limited amount of biblical resources. Why not show it off, right? We worked hard to learn this stuff! Also, many of us have been burned in our relationships and are afraid to write about ourselves and our lives. There have been times in my life when I knew if I exegeted scripture and taught Christ in the shadow of Moses or talked about how unbiblical our government is instead of discussing my own faith and life in someone’s living room, I would be less likely to burst into tears and be vulnerable. Cold hard facts are easy. I simply state them, and log off until next time. But God didn’t just give us commandments and laws. He gave us Himself! – a Lawkeeper and a Friend who was so vulnerable He submitted to a death we rightly deserved.

Write about a variety of subjects. These are creations of God, every one of them, and they are very good. Thank the Lord for your writing talents and your knowledge, and realize they belong to Him. Just make sure that as you write, other women find you Christlike, intimate and friendly. Don’t use theological or social issues to cover up your pain. Don’t be so lofty that other women are intimidated by you and your brothers are tempted to sin by making the pulpit softer. Softer speech and writing from us ladies will make stronger men, harder pulpits and stronger, more godly communities.