Lullabye Loo
After speaking at the homeschool convention yesterday, I was reminded of how many moms want someone to not only give them day-by-day lesson plans for every step of homeschooling, but day-by-day instructions on how to deal with every childtraining issue they face. We all go through stages in homeschooling and in motherhood where we begin with lots of questions and little confidence. The goal, however, is that we will grow in grace and wisdom as we move forward, and become less dependent on systems and more dependent on God.
God’s promise to give wisdom when we ask for it is something we can depend on when everything else falls apart. I encouraged the women in my “dailiness” talk to be grateful for homeschooling because it is a great way to bring sin to the top of our lives and our children’s lives as we spend so much time with them. I told how I once planted a potato bed in our garden, and I ambitiously began to dig a large area, loosening the soil and preparing it for my seed potatoes. It didn’t take long to realize I had underestimated the effort if would take. I found rock after large rock with the tip of my shovel, and I had to painstakingly discover the edges of each one to dig underneath it and heave it aside. Steve explained that rocks “float” in the ground and rise to the top. If I should decide to tackle another potato project, I will probably find that my lovely, rock-free soil has collected a whole new crop of geological wonders to dig and heave all over again.
And my children and I always have a new crop of sins to weed out of our lives. Praise God for giving us that opportunity!
This article by Kimberley Eddy has a lot of wisdom about leaning on God’s wisdom for our mothering help. She says:
We, in our human frailty, have limited understanding, and yet our Lord Jesus knows all. He knows our children intimately. He knows their whole makeup and can better advise us than a one-size-fits-all parenting book. The Bible says that we know in part and we see in part (1 Corinthians 13:9). In fact, God likens our understanding in this life as looking into a darkened mirror or through some foggy glass (1 Corinthians 13:12). It is so much wiser to cry out to the God who formed us and formed our children for wisdom in rearing them as we search the Scriptures, than to try to stumble about in the darkness with only man’s generalized interpretation of the Bible verses on parenting.
I find that many of these popular child training programs can border on child abuse in the hands of an undiscerning, gullible, ignorant mother (or father). Without the Lord’s guidance and wisdom, and applying the teachings of a person without really praying about it, we can really screw up. I have known many moms get so wrapped up in a program or method, they can’t see the forest for the trees. One gets on a kick about schedules and the entire world seems to revolve around it, with no down time. Another mom obsesses over the finer details of how and when to spank and has a whole set of rules she follows about spanking, based on some parenting expert who only has to tell these gullible moms that what he is teaching is biblical, and therefore God’s way (no one bothers to read his Bible references–it’s too much work). There are moms who get so into co-sleeping they join co-sleeping support groups and do nothing but talk of it; on the other side there are the moms who militantly preach cribs and separate rooms from birth. There are other poor parents who get so confused by so many seemingly “biblical” methods out there, that they change methods every month. It is like the Parenting Method of the Month Club at their house, and little Junior is utterly confused because he lacks consistency.
I think that last couple of sentences applies to instability and insecurity in homeschooling methods, too.
I know we have a dearth of grandmas who are willing or able to help with those things they taught once-upon-a-time, and a well-written Titus Two book encouraging you as you blaze the parenting trail can be a tremendous asset. But beware of any step-by-step “program” which tries to replace your dependence on God’s ordering of your steps. We have a tendency to overcomplicate the simple ways God has given us for teaching and disciplining our children: walking and talking. Spend lots of time with them teaching them to love God and His law, and talk with them about everything.
And cuddle those babies as much as you can, because they really do grow up quickly.
Babies Don’t Keep
By Ruth Hulbert HamiltonMother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due,
Lullabye, rockaby, lullabye loo.
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo,
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo,
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs;
Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
June 5th, 2005 at 9:21 pm
Carmon.
This is a five-star post in my humble little opinion.
Excellent. So well said.
Thank you!
June 6th, 2005 at 3:11 am
Ditto Ruthanne’s comment. I loved the poem too!
June 6th, 2005 at 6:29 am
I thought this was an excellent post too!
June 6th, 2005 at 6:36 am
Oh, if we could just find a healthy balance. It seems it is always about the extremes.
Thank you, Carmon. Great post.
June 6th, 2005 at 7:43 am
Talking about potatoes — The last two potatoes I have opened have had these two-knuckle
length black “Worms” (I’m not sure if they are actually worms or not. I don’t find them
until the potato is cooked)
I’ve been fishing them out and using the potatoes anyway. But I’m wondering if I’m
poisoning my family.
June 6th, 2005 at 12:14 pm
Yes, yes, yes! This time of year our family struggles with a change of routine as we wrap up our formal lessons and ease into a relaxing summer… I know the struggle is magnified this year as baby 5 is due in 6 weeks and we are all excited for her arrival! But, you know, there is not one answer that someone else has for our family – only THE LORD Himself can show my husband and I how to deal effectively with the poor attitudes/teasing, etc. Thank you for that encouragment once again to seek His Wisdom – I know that is where the answer is.
I think that poem is so special – especially this summer for me! “Dust Go To Sleep!”
in Christ our Answer
Jennifer in NY
June 6th, 2005 at 1:10 pm
The poem about made me weep. It’s been rather messy around here but babies just don’t keep. Thankfully, my husband and children agree.
Now, if only we could find and kill that squeak in the rocking chair!
June 6th, 2005 at 1:53 pm
Sweet poem Carmon!
June 6th, 2005 at 2:57 pm
Carmon, excellent post! Praise be to God that there are women like you reminding us “younger ones” of these traps, and encouraging us to look unto Jesus.
June 7th, 2005 at 7:57 am
Carmon,
Thanks for posting the poem, I have not heard it for years upon years. It is one my own mother used to have posted in our home back in the late 70’s, then it would come up in one way or another through the years that I was having my own babies. Now I am in the place of releasing some of our youngin’s into the world within a couple of years and things look so different on this side.
So it goes with homeschooling, as well. The hs movement has really changed over the last decade plus that we’ve been involved in it in various capacities of leadership and mentoring. The quest is different for the newer homeschoolers, now than it was when I first began (I could get on a soapbox about marketing and big bookstores getting involved in the hs market, but I won’t do that, here). I notice that it has changed for me, as well, with two of our children in hs high school. Many are not continuing to homeschool in high school, but I am thankful that some of the pioneers of homeschooling live in my area and are accessible. They help me, and our homeschooling community, to have some perspective as we reflect on why we began (or were called to) homeschooling in the first place. God is faithful to continue to show us the way, if we continue to lean on Him and not on our own understanding.
June 7th, 2005 at 10:42 am
The poem is so true! I know I have stopped to enjoy my 8th baby much more than some of my earlier ones because I am so much more aware of how fast it goes. Sometimes I just have to stop and sit on the couch and “love up the baby!”.
I think both the topics tie in too. When I was a young mom, and a new Christian, I knew I didn’t want my children to go through the things I went through, but only having a negative example doesn’t get you through the day to day. I consumed every book, program within reach. I was a real sucker for the word “biblical”. (My husband had the same problem so we were both groping together). I didn’t feel like I COULD relax and enjoy my children because I agonized over everything. I would beat myself up with guilt because I wasn’t 100% consistent like the books said I had to be. I knew I was (AM!) a negetive examples in areas. Really, it was quite miserable at times. I didn’t expect discipline to be so hard. Then at times, weary with guilt and frustration I would let things fall apart.
I think becoming Reformed and peado-baptist really helped me in my struggle. I relized i had to respond to these things not by “doing better” but by faith. Faith that God will work out my sanctification. Faith that God will see my children safely into the gates of heaven. Trusting His grace to overcome my failings. It has really freed me from worry and fear, and I pray a lot more. I really feel for those young mothers!
June 7th, 2005 at 4:35 pm
The goal, however, is that we will grow in grace and wisdom as we move forward, and become less dependent on systems and more dependent on God.
So well said. . .
And I would add to what is said here, “I find that many of these popular child training programs can border on child abuse in the hands of an undiscerning, gullible, ignorant mother (or father).’
It isn’t simply the gullible and ignorant that get swept away with the idea-of-the-week in homeschooling and mothering circles. Even well-intentioned, loving, educated, discerning mothers can make mistakes (and will make mistakes!) Yet, we have a God who is Sovereign who uses our love and good days as well as our mistakes (and even our sin) to bring us to Himself and our children to maturity in Him.
June 8th, 2005 at 7:11 am
Very good reminders packed into one space!! I do have a hanging schedule on the wall,..but it’s pretty flexible. Although, my weakness is probably the “too flexible” mom..who does need direction at times. Javamom…love that name…you reminded me of the generall session talk by Israel Wayne at the scope conference. His whole talk to open up the day’s events was “Why do we homeschool?”. What struck me the most was this staement: “We homeschool not to change our children’s character, but to deal with the character that is revealed”. This includes ourselves as well, if not more. Okay, one more snipet of encouragement was his reminder that God has given us these children as gifts,..and not only that, but that He gave us the exact children that we needed. My husband and I lovely turned to one another and both thought of our youngest of five (15mon.) who is the screamer of the family. And before any comment,…yes he is disciplined!! But, God gave him to us for His own purposes and our refinement. Got to go,..I’m being “refined”
June 8th, 2005 at 6:53 pm
I like the idea of simplicity.
March 23rd, 2006 at 6:11 am
Hi!
I met Kimberly Eddy in Salzburg / Austria round about 1987.
Is ther a chanc to get her email-adress or phone-number?
Andreas D. Adomeit
Germany
0049 4221 5909671
coloradoado@web.de
March 23rd, 2006 at 8:10 am
Hi Andreas, oder guten Tag!
Her address is as the bottom of her webpage, which is still there though it looks like the link is broken to the article:
kimberly@joyfulmomma.org.
Hope that helps!
July 31st, 2006 at 8:19 pm
I remember this wonderful poem from ‘way back when we were having/adopting our own 20 children! How great to see it again! It hits on the Really Important Issues of life–Our Blessed Jesus, our Christian Faith, and the children. Thank you for the post, Carmon. I really appreciate it.
BTW, a little graphite sifted into the joints of that rocking chair will kill the squeaks right away, Cheryl.
In the Love of Christ,
Darlene