Dear Homeschooling Mother
Every once in awhile I feel compelled to write you a letter to help you hang in there when things get tough. I’ve been at this “job” of teaching my children for almost 20 years now—it’s really over 23 if I count the time spent from the birth of my oldest son (and I should count that time, as the false dichotomy of dividing “academics” from the rest of life is one of the reasons we homeschool). Over those years I’ve experienced homeschooling plenty and homeschooling want. It would seem that as it has become more “mainstream,” homeschooling would get easier, but I don’t think it has. For many Christians, it seems to have become harder.
In the good old days (go ahead, imagine me missing a few teeth and with grizzled gray hair as you read that phrase), the biggest concerns we had were what curriculum to use and whether or not the social workers would get the police to knock down our doors and drag our children off to foster care. Thanks to groups like HSLDA and others who fight for parental rights, the latter concern does not loom so large.
Attacks from the enemy are to be expected since we have taken the huge plunge and gone against the cultural flow by teaching our own children at home. But the discouragement really sets in when our convictions are condemned by the “good guys,” our Christian brethren and sistren who find fault with our homeschooling endeavor, criticizing us implicitly or explicitly. Whichever way, it hurts.
A few days ago, I heard from some who were offended by Tall Tim’s latest anti-homeschooling post. I don’t know if he would agree that he was being “anti-,” either ex- or im-plicitly, but he left one with the impression that those who hold strongly to the conviction that homeschooling is the best option for Christian children—and that Christian parents ought not send their covenant children to be educated in government schools (see link to article at bottom)—are harming the church by being “divisive.”
This was in response to kindred spirit Kim’s post where she answered a question regarding the reasons she and her husband homeschool their children.
The same day, reformed Professor Carl Trueman also had some negative things to say about homeschooling. He portrayed it as an unbiblical “Reformed cultural norm” which was running women ragged and making them “exhausted and haggard.” He says:
For every omnicompetent wife who seems to be able to run the world and then some, and still look like a million dollars when hubbie gets home for dinner (already on the table, of course), there are ten or more who look crushed and dispirited, who really need to send their kids out of the house in the morning so they can get some rest and some mental sanity, who need their husbands to see the problem and take steps to help them. Are they inadequate as Christian mothers? No. They are crushed by a “Christian” culture that demands their all and gives no slack.
First of all, I do take exception to Tim’s (and several of his commenters’) narrow view of what homeschoolers believe about their mission in training their children. I don’t doubt that some of them have met those whom my friend Cindy calls “homeschool Nazis.” Even Carmon the Prairie Muffin doesn’t always feel comfortable in that crowd. I look much better in bright colors than in blue and white uniforms, and I have mostly given up on wearing jumpers. I even got a trim at the beauty parlor today, gasp! But Christian homeschooling, while not a big tent, is filled with a beautiful variety of godly folks who love their children dearly and sacrifice a lot to do the hard things they do. Just telling people I homeschool my children can offend them, even if I don’t tell them the reasons why I do it (and I usually don’t). I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had strangers explain why they could or would never teach their children at home, when they learn I homeschool. Most homeschoolers don’t set out to be divisive, but their choices do convey an opinion which is not popular in the general public, and that is the decision to reject public schools for their children.
So be it…we are to please God, not men, even men who have well-read blogs. We don’t have to be nasty about it when others disagree or hurtful to those who are in hard situations, and we don’t need to be too offended when people get nasty with us about our convictions.
But Dr. Trueman’s short diatribe against what he sees as an epidemic of “crushed and dispirited” women who need to send their children away for “mental sanity” and presumably so they can keep looking like “a million dollars” rather than expending their energy and their looks on a life which involves caring for husband, home, and children, with the added burden of homeschooling…that got under my thick skin.
Again, we all know that there are women who fit the picture he paints, but to say that for every “omnicompetent” homeschooling mother there are ten poor souls who fit the stereotype he portrays is both unfair and untrue. Beyond that, if he knows of such women, then to urge them to send their children “out of the house” as a solution to their problems is terrible counsel, particularly when he makes no distinction as to whether he advocates that the children receive a Christian education or a godless one in a public school setting.
The comment about the haggard homeschooler is offensive, but the remark about the omnicompetent mom is even more offensive. Those Christian women who make the huge sacrifices to pour out their lives to train their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord don’t deserve to be ridiculed like this, but encouraged and supported for their efforts. Just as with any kind of Christian service—and a mother’s calling centers on serving her family in her home—there will be times of trial and times of victory. Every woman who homeschools her children will have seasons where she struggles with a variety of problems, particularly because spending so much time with her children at home will magnify both their sins and hers. This may be a hard thing, but it is a good thing. Rather than being able to ignore those sins, they must be confronted.
Dr. Trueman is right that these women need support. But telling them and their husbands to send their children away is not it. For most of us, public education is absolutely not an option. Christian schools are a blessing for many, but for many of us, especially when we have large families, the cost is prohibitive. Besides, a great number of homeschooling parents believe that because God is Lord of all things, we teach our children His law in every context at every opportunity, not just in church and not just during occasional family devotions. Of course, we sometimes share aspects of this training with trusted helpers, such as listening to sermons or other good teaching, reading books, learning skills which we don’t have in music, art, or advanced subjects. But the time is short and the culture is evil. We are in this for the long haul and the task is of supreme importance to us because there is a battle for our children’s souls. God is the One who saves those souls in His sovereign grace, but He has ordained that we are the means He often uses to bring that about, through our faithful obedience to impart His truth to our little ones. It is a full-time calling.
As a mother of ten children who has been homeschooling for over two decades, I can assure you I am no supermom. I am not full of energy, and I often look in the mirror to see bags under my eyes. I’m not against taking a little vacation occasionally to recharge your batteries, but I also know it’s dangerous to indulge oneself in pity parties and give up when we ought to be fighting the good fight of faith, even in our homes.
I just finished a wonderful book recommended by Cindy (whose book recommendations are usually spot on, though I’m not so sure about the movies she likes 
), called Between Walden and the Whirlwind, by Jean Fleming. In it, she gives sound advice about how to balance the times of seeking solitude and refreshment in the Lord with service and the hard work of the Christian life. She doesn’t mention homeschooling, but it is the perfect book for the homeschooling mother. Mrs. Fleming tells how Paul was a physically weak man who endured more bodily anguish than Indiana Jones. Rather than complaining about his hard lot, he was glad of his weakness: “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (II Corinthians 12:9-10).
She adds:
When troubles come, we seek escape, and sometimes accept any escape or relief. We may plunge ourselves into our work, or “run away” through excessive sleep, fascinating travel, or a change of location or company. Relief may come in many forms [like sending your children "out of the house" ~Carmon], but true comfort comes from God alone. Other means of relief can keep us too busy to feel the pain, or can sedate us, dulling the sensation of pain, but only God provides deep, rich comfort in the midst of suffering [yes, sometimes the trials and work of homeschooling is a kind of "suffering" ~Carmon]. He pours out grace and mercy and pulls back the curtains of revelation that we might see His character and purposes more clearly. Troubled times can bring revelation and comfort of a depth that our own solutions never provide.
I caught a snippet of Dr. Laura’s radio show on the way to the beauty parlor this afternoon. Even her advice was better than Dr. Trueman’s. Yes, let’s encourage those women who are having a hard time with their trials, but with the kind of encouragement that helps us face our problems, not run away from them.
Other good reading: Lee Duigon, ex-school teacher, on Why You Should Homeschool Your Christian Child. Also, make sure to read all the comments on Challies blog post…be generous with those who disagree, but you might also note the remarks of the Christians who are teaching in the public schools to see what they think about sending Christian children there. Also, Kim’s response to Challies’ post is here.
May 8th, 2007 at 2:58 am
Very intersting.I just about read every comment and blog-my head is about to explose.As somebody who has children in public school and has firends who home school I put it like this:
I have always admired those who homeschool.I just never felt led to homeschool.I know for a fact they would never learn.I barely could get through potty training without it almost being an abusive parent so I beleive I would have been one those parents you hear about who have drowned their chilodren or done somethign just because they could not read!!Please don’t tell me I have issues-never have abused my children but the number one reason I never homeschooled is because I just don’t have the patience.
Now jump to now days -daughter is in 10th grade it has only been since I started reading blogs that I have heard the reasons people homeschool with Bible verses attached and the term goverment schools is new to me.Also I up until the blog era have I ever felt like I must not love my children because I sen them to public schools.
I think people will always have the disagreements about homeschool-public school and even Christian schools.No one will ever agree -just plain and simple.By the way I do read books on homeschooling to help with the public school and take ideas about geting homework done.
May 8th, 2007 at 6:27 am
Thank you, Carmon.
May 8th, 2007 at 6:51 am
Carmon, Thank-you! I read both Carl Trueman’s and Tim’s post in the same day and I became so discouraged. I was discouraged not about my decision to homeschool but about the Christian community at large. I was hurt by Dr Trueman’s post, it seemed rather mean-spirited. I didn’t have the time to e-mail him; our family was preparing for a vacation. I do not try to convince everyone to homeschool, or to send their children to Christian schools, and I also don’t personally insult the parents who send their children to public school. Christians are called to encourage one another and to spur one another on to good works–not to cut each other down with insults. After reading Dr Trueman’s post and Tim’s I had some very unkind, insulting thoughts towards them both. I’m glad I didn’t have the time to respond. Thank-you for your well thought out and encouraging response.
Kim
May 8th, 2007 at 9:29 am
mumble, mutter, sigh,
I can take getting shot by the enemy, its the knife in the back from my ‘friends’ I hate.
Look for a response on Backwaterreport,
Bret
May 8th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
Clearly seen, Mr. McAtee. Thank you, and thank you, Carmon.
May 8th, 2007 at 5:00 pm
Carmon, I don’t have time to read your whole post right now and all the links, I am running out the door to a base….no, I mean softball game. My oldest wants us to come to his games too. Anyhoo..My son and I were talking today about increasingly weak young adult women seem to be. They constantly need babysitters and hand-holding. Normal life seems hard to them. It is hard sometimes to know how to buck them up. On the other hand it is always encouraging to see women like Crystal loving their families, working hard and speaking up. This, of course, is a generalization but I have been known to use them like an overgrown teenager.
I didn’t even see the Challies article, I am still pondering a response to his frugality post. I suppose I will spend the late evening with my BP pills and the internet.
May 8th, 2007 at 6:56 pm
Cindy, I didn’t see his frugality post
. If you respond to it, I guess I will have to read it. As I get older, my blood pressure can only take so much 
. Actually, I have very low blood pressure, which is one reason it takes so much caffeine to get me going in the morning.
It was Kim, not Crystal, who wrote about homeschooling, but both young ladies are quite inspiring as they live out things I wish I had figured out long ago. And I still remember you using that Mr. Mulliner “Buck-U-Uppo” quip a while back…mebbe the Wodehouse references are even more part of your vocabulary than generalizations!
May 8th, 2007 at 7:36 pm
Ohhhhhhhh, thank you, Carmon.
May 8th, 2007 at 7:58 pm
Ok, Timothy, won his game and we are home and I skimmed the Challies article and I read the comments and I have to say while I am a firm believer in homeschoolers sharpening one another with truth, I am appalled by the comments on Challies. I am even suspect of why he posted on this subject again. I am totally alienated by his worldview and his thinking patterns and I will probably take him off my bloglines. I believe in dissent and iron sharpening iron but I am finding this level of faulty thinking hard to bear with.
May 8th, 2007 at 8:10 pm
Carmon:
I appreciate this blog post very much. We are in it for the longhaul. Just last night I was discussing this with my dear MIL. We do not see eye to eye on all things, and she is very supportive, but we have different minds. I do feel like so many just give up and it makes me sad. I so appreciate your words here.
Warmly in the trenches with you!
Kate
May 8th, 2007 at 8:11 pm
Cindy, I thought Dr. Trueman was much worse than Tall Tim, but I am concerned that these men with such big influence in reformed circles seem to be totally missing the point about the importance of Christian education and don’t seem to get it that the calling of motherhood (which I contend includes the education of our children on a daily basis, and I use that term in its full-orbed sense, not just talking about academics) is to be sacrificial, just as every other calling of God for Christian service.
It does seem as if the “that’s all right for you, but I feel led to do it another way” is a rather postmodern attitude.
May 8th, 2007 at 8:20 pm
Tammy, I’m sorry it took so long to respond to your comment. This post was more to encourage the homeschooling mother than to argue against public schooling, though you know how I feel about that topic. Believe me, I understand not having patience, as that is one of my weak spots as well. What it really boils down to is a problem with anger, which is not something to avoid but something to confront. Patience is a fruit of the Spirit and we must pursue it, even though we fail sometimes. Your reference to drowning children is unfortunate, and of course evokes images of Andrea Yates, the woman homeschooling naysayers point to as the reason homeschooling is doomed to fail. Mrs. Yates ought to have received proper help before she murdered her children, and she ought to have received the death penalty after. But it wasn’t homeschooling her children that caused her to do what she did; it was her sin. Sin is serious and needs a Savior and we must not take it lightly when, as Christians, we continue to need sanctification. It is a long process and often painful, but it not something to avoid as it makes us more Christ-like and fits us for heaven.
Let me say that though I do believe homeschooling is the best choice for most Christian families, I think many Christian schools do a fine job, too. Yes, they can be expensive, but for some there are scholarships and other ways to help pay for them.
May 8th, 2007 at 8:34 pm
You know, I admit I’m glad I read those anti-homeschooling posts. In this case it helped. I’m not one who is ruffled easily on this issue. I have a lot of confidence in our homeschooling choice. However, I do fall prey to the problem of confidence in myself and my decision, instead of God and His grace.
May 8th, 2007 at 9:20 pm
I didn’t bother to read Carl Trueman’s article because this quote, “They are crushed by a “Christian†culture that demands their all and gives no slack” referring to homeschooling mothers is just so fanatical I can’t handle it. Most mother’s have days that “demand their all with no slack” fairly frequently. But that is part of the joy and the pain of mothering. Tiring, but by no means “crushing”. His words there are so anti-mother it just makes me mad.
And for the record, yes…homeschooling is hard but so is mothering/parenting and life. We need to stop feeling so massively persecuted just because we homeschool. Suck it up already.
Regarding Tim’s post, while I agree with many of his points, I find it odd they were made in response to Kim’s statements about why she homeschool’s. Never did she say that we should all think and do as she does. She simply and directly said why she homeschools. Big deal. So what. In responding as he does, Tim is guilty of his own accusation….causing divisiveness over an issue (homeschool) that is not an issue of Christian duty but of Christian liberty.
Having said that I DO believe there are some areas he has highlighted where homeschoolers are at fault.
#1 Homeschool is not a religion. We can love God and our children and still send them to public or private school. So lets all stop acting superior about it.
#2 Truly, worldliness is in our hearts and working out our own salvation (godliness) doesn’t leave a whole lot of time or opportunity for working out someone else’s. Lets stop acting like the good guys and treating the “world” like the bad guys. The only diff between us and them is that we know we’re bad and need Jesus.
I disagree with Tim’s idea that homeschoolers “insulate their children from the world they must live in and they must learn to exist as believers in an unbelieving world.” This to me is the wonkiest justification for public school I’ve ever heard and keep on hearing.
Children MUST grow up in a protective environment so that they can become strong adults. This is plain common-sense. Look at the animal kingdom. Most large mammal cubs stay with their mothers for extended periods of time until they learn how to fend for themselves. This doesn’t happen quickly, each day brings new life lessons. Under their mothers protective care they learn the rules of survival. Removing them from too early guarantees an early death. It makes absolutely no sense to plant a seedling amongst the weed’s in hopes it will take over the crop. The reverse always happens.
Maybe that’s what Tim is afraid of.
Grace (who worries she’s probably not speaking kindly, doesn’t have Bp pills and invites Carmon to edit and or delete this post as she sees fit)
May 8th, 2007 at 9:33 pm
Grace, your first paragraph reminds me of one of my favorite Bible passages:
I imagine Paul didn’t look so lovely after he experienced all those beatings, shipwrecks, midnight escapes, etc. It seemed so shallow to comment on the appearance of women who are working hard in the home. Dr. Trueman was meaning to berate the men whom he believes are expecting too much of their wives, but it did appear that he was instead expecting too little and perhaps the problem is with a church that does not value such sacrifices and the important work in the home nearly enough.
May 8th, 2007 at 10:16 pm
I was just going to say that there are actually quite a few days I am “exhausted” and look “haggard”. Sorry ’bout that, Mr. Trueman.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”
~ 2 Corinthians 12:9
We have prayer closets, fellow homeschool mothers. We must USE them… several times a day if necessary (and it usually is).
I do like the idea of being able to go once a year to a quiet place for a day or two (a hotel or bed & breakfast) to decompress, pray and plan. However, I’m usually so keyed up it takes me at least a day or two just to do the decompressing part. I think Laura in KY (Patchwork of Blessed Moments) and Andrea (Flourishing Mother) do this. However, even if some of us don’t have the luxury of a short getaway, God still provides what we need to make it. But to “send (our) kids out of the house in the morning so (we) can get some rest and some mental sanity”? This thought makes me so sad. While most days my stimuli-coping level gets maxed out, shoving my young ones out the door to get them “out of my hair” isn’t the answer; crying out to the Lord is.
Carmon, I loved what you wrote:
“Every woman who homeschools her children will have seasons where she struggles with a variety of problems, particularly because spending so much time with her children at home will magnify both their sins and hers. This may be a hard thing, but it is a good thing. Rather than being able to ignore those sins, they must be confronted.”
GALATIANS 6:9, ladies. GALATIANS 6:9!
(And I, for one, like Grace’s spunk.)
May 9th, 2007 at 7:24 am
You are always so encouraging Carmon:)
May 9th, 2007 at 7:51 am
I know in our PCA church the pastor is NOT at all for homeschooling. In fact he is studying it now to support his negative views. Surprisingly, we make up at least half of the families and other majority is a local classical Christian school. I am not really surprised. The “salt and light” theme runs VERY strong. But I really don’t see much salt and light going on if the kids go to a Christian school. I have seen a GLIMMER from those in public high school. But that really isn’t the point, is it??? How quickly we can get sucked into the arguement.
But it doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks, no matter who they are. We live our lives for God and our decisions must make Him happy–and our husband’s.
May 9th, 2007 at 9:50 am
Carmon, I have low blood pressure also and my cardiologist told me that I needed a couple of strong cups of coffee in the morning. For once, I don’t mind following doctor’s orders!
Ruthanne, it’s funny that you mentioned my weekend getaway. I’m actually due for one, however due to dh’s unemployment, an impending move (to who knows where), surgery for our baby (to be blogged about next week), and decisions to be made regarding two adoptions, I won’t be going away this year. For those who don’t know, once or twice a year, my dh sends me away for the weekend to a hotel that is 5 minutes away. After a sinful pity party, I remembered that God is going to give me the strength to get through this season, and He doesn’t need a hotel to accomplish that. (Though I sure wouldn’t mind if He utilizes it again in the future!)
May 9th, 2007 at 10:51 am
Having said that I DO believe there are some areas he has highlighted where homeschoolers are at fault.
#1 Homeschool is not a religion. We can love God and our children and still send them to public or private school. So lets all stop acting superior about it.
Bret responds,
It is true that Homeschool is not a religion but it is the immediate consequence of a religion. I don’t worship Homeschooling but I homeschool because of who I worship.
I’m sorry, but I don’t see how we can claim to love God and our children and still send them to public school except in the most extrordinary circumstances. People like Challies who advocate this are just not aware of what is going on in these places. Have they read Postman? Have they read Blumenfeld? Have they read Rushdoony? Have they read Eakman? Have they read Machen? Have they read Brimelow? Have they read Sowell? Have they read Stormer? Have they read Gatto? Do insist that sending our children to the schools of Canaan is a result of love to children and love to God suggests a ostrich head in the sand mentality. And when Challies and others say it, I suspect it is said as a defense mechanism to justify their error.
I as a person am not superior because my wife and I have homeschooled our children. We remain simul et iustus simul et peccatore. But homeschooling is superior to sending ones children to governemnt schools and reflects a greater love.
Chailles wrote,
#2 Truly, worldliness is in our hearts and working out our own salvation (godliness) doesn’t leave a whole lot of time or opportunity for working out someone else’s. Lets stop acting like the good guys and treating the “world†like the bad guys. The only diff between us and them is that we know we’re bad and need Jesus.
Bret responds,
This is manifestly not true. The difference between us and them is also that we are seeking to follow Jesus and they are not. One expression of that is homeschooling our children! One expression of their not following Jesus is by educating without reference to the Lord of Education.
Speaking Kindly,
Bret
May 9th, 2007 at 12:04 pm
When I said I like Grace’s spunk I was referring not so much to her two “at fault” comments about homeschooling (that Bret responded to) as much as her thoughts on mothers needing to have thick skin and backbone. This seems trivial but since it appears I was making a blanket endorsement of all that she wrote I appreciate the opportunity to clarify.
May 9th, 2007 at 3:50 pm
Is it just me or is there a sort of ‘anti-homeschooling’ tone running through Reformed circles? Being Reformed myself I do find it rather rather discouraging. I can only agree with what Bret wrote for her answer at point #1. I don’t understand the continuing defense of Christians for putting their children in public schools. It isn’t as though the criticism of the system is only coming from homeschoolers. And haggard and tired? Good grief. Well, if I do get tired, Mr. Trueman can kindly keep his pity of the poor overworked mother to himself. With friends like that who needs enemies?
May 9th, 2007 at 4:19 pm
I’ve linked to your post.
May 9th, 2007 at 8:39 pm
Mama Squirrel…the Mars vs. Venus reference was a crack-up
.
I do hope those who insist that public schools are a good choice for Christian children will read the writings of the authors Bret mentions. You can find John Taylor Gatto’s work here, and he is the most compelling after his many years of teaching in public schools, culminating with the New York State Teacher of the Year award. His acceptance speech (after which he retired
) was a scathing indictment of that system. Also, make sure to read the reports on WorldNetDaily about the hundreds of sexual predators in public schools (yes, they are other places, too, including churches, but still quite astounding in its prevalence there).
May 10th, 2007 at 7:33 am
Low blood pressure? Coffee? Ahh… now I’m starting to understand why I can’t function. I always had fairly low blood pressure but I never guessed this is why I’m a complete disaster until I’ve had some water and morning coffee! Now I have an excuse, even if it’s a self-diagnosed one.
A homeschool graduate recently moved to the area with his wife & first child. We had an enjoyable short chat on much of this recently. It’s wonderful to see the fruit of a mother’s labor grown, industrious, confident and raising his family in the same way.
I must say that as a Christian, the public school hostility towards Christianity makes it not an option but in truth, I must admit I’m not a fan of the style of mass herding of children one gets in the government systems regardless of the religion. Now, if there was a original McGuffey reading, God fearing, locally operated one room schoolhouse down the road I’d perhaps consider it but not the federal indoctrination centers. (I hope that was speaking kindly enough?)
May 10th, 2007 at 9:06 am
Cheryl, you need to move to Nebraska, we still have a few of those one room schools. But even though they have good, may I say God-fearing teachers, they still have to teach what the government hierarchy demands. Too bad. I went to one of those one room schools and recieved an excellent education.
Now, back to the original article…I wonder if anyone asked the professor if he knows mothers who work full-time outside the home. In our community these women seem to be the tiredest, most overcommitted women I know. But since they go out among the public, they probably do take some time to look a little nicer, so maybe that’s the real issue.
I will be the first to say that I know many, many homeschool moms who could spend a few more minutes on getting themselves decent in the morning. (and I rarely wear makeup, so I’m not talking about getting dolled up) It takes little time to fix your hair and dress nicely, just in case the mailman delivers a package or something.
May 10th, 2007 at 9:24 am
Oops, such an excellent education I got, can’t even spell…..received…Phooey!
May 10th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
[...] in light of Carmon’s post on negative homeschooling press, I have been thinking of all the things that make a woman look [...]
May 10th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Carmon,
Thanks for this encouraging post and for being an ‘older woman’; counseling and inspiring us younger women.
May 10th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
I loved that book, read it and re-read it…gave away my last copy.
Really we need to do what God tell us to do. My kids are twelve years apart, my daughter went through the public school system through college. She’s homeschooling her kids.
We started homeschooling my son at second grade do to the public schools insisting he be drugged into a stupor for ADHD symptoms. Each child was on the path I believe God had for them.
May 11th, 2007 at 4:26 am
I had read the article at Challies a few days ago and was so frustrated by the end of it. It is one thing to be attacked by those who are not God’s own people. But when these people are your brothers and sisters in Christ and are researching arguments to go against what you believe, what kind of a Christian family is that?
I am a homeschool graduate. My children, Lord willing, will be homeschool graduates. While my children are still young and I have not yet started homeschooling them, I still look “haggard” on some days. Come to think of it, having children period causes us women to have moment’s of haggardness, dispiritedness, whatever. If we are to use Dr. Trueman’s argument, perhaps we should start sending the children away the moment they are born? Anyway, finding the easy way out (and no, please don’t read into this that I am saying ALL people who send their children to a school outside the home are finding the easy way out) is not the correct response for a Christian. The sacrificial love modeled by our Lord and Savior is the correct response.
Oh, and if I may end with this, I have known many women who homeschool. Some are not dressed to a “t” and may not have perfectly groomed hair. But most of them shown with a beauty that is not physical: the inward beauty talked about in 1 Peter. That doesn’t come from sending the children off so that you can look like a million dollars. It comes from facing whatever life the Lord has given us with the grace and strength that only He provides.
In His Grace,
Mama Russell
May 12th, 2007 at 8:17 pm
Glad I found this discussion. I’m a homeschooler, though I think Christian school is a perfectly acceptable (even prefereable if affordable) choice, and I’m not going to criticize others who public school, more than I would castigate them for not having my convictions on the Sabbath.
The problem though is that if you homeschool/christian school for any kind of sense of it being “more biblical” or “more christian” you will conflict with others. I wish it wasn’t such an insoluable catch 22. If I didn’t homeschool out of any conviction, what am I bothering for?
As I wrote on another blog http://foolishsage.com/2007/05/06/trueman-on-reformed-church-culture-and-women/#comment-54154
Anyway, I note that Trueman has recently posted his own “made up” argument with himself which, as is his wont, he puts stupid sounding arguments in the voice of a cockney cab driver. I’m not sure what the point is. Has he actually gotten alot of vitriol back? That’s why I found this blog. I was looking for what he was trying to refute, and seeing nothing here like that I guess I’ll have to look elsewehre
May 13th, 2007 at 9:04 pm
Hey, Pduggie. Great name
. I think I recognize it, perhaps from Miss Kyriosity’s site?
The comparison to the mommy wars is probably true, and got a little smile from me. More and more, though, I prefer not to be at war with the mommies who disagree (though I disagree that it’s a peripheral issue when discussing whether Christian children should receive a predominantly Christian education), but your point that even when we don’t draw overt lines in the sand our choices draw those lines for us: “What are you bothering for?” is a statement that stands on its own, without us speaking a word.
While I do not want to pick fights with other mommies and imply that because I homeschool I am “holier than thou,” there are times I do want to encourage the homeschooling mothers who are the women this website primarily speaks to and for because that is who and what I am. Thus, when Mr. Challies and Dr. Trueman as representatives of the reformed faith say things which might induce unnecessary anxiety or guilt over what is already a difficult path. Always we must examine ourselves in light of God’s word and wisdom He gives…that’s part of Christian maturity, as is showing kindness to other believers. But part of kindness and love is also (gently) discussing biblical principles regarding family issues, particularly in this culture which encourages us to pursue self-fulfillment rather than godly self-denial. I appreciate your dropping by and sharing your perspective on this.
May 19th, 2007 at 6:26 am
I linked.
November 20th, 2007 at 11:31 am
Hi……… I love the idea of homeschooling my children it sounds wonderful. I do however want to point out that i also have many friends who have to work. …. many of these women are christians ….. i just wanted to note that we should pray that god would help us encourage one another as we aspire to serve and love our children and our neighbor as christ serves and loves us… we are all so blessed to have children……. lets not give the enemy the upperhand by being divisive over how we are to raise our children rather let us build one another up in the nurture and admonition of the lord…. blessings and peace to you all.