Our Privileges and Our Pitfalls
The average woman is at the head of something with which she can do as she likes; the average man has to obey orders and do nothing else.
~G.K. Chesterton
We need to remember the privileged place we occupy as homekeepers. Everyone needs a reminder to be content at times, but how ungrateful we can be when we have nothing to complain about and everything about which to rejoice. Today I educated my children, delivered a meal to a sick friend, read a little of a murder mystery, did some straightening of the house, cooked a couple of meals for my husband who sometimes needs to eat differently than the rest of the family, had many (countless?) conversations, gave a few hugs, and I talked with a friend on the phone. As I type this, I just finished watching a movie with my girls, I nibbled a piece of chocolate and drank a glass of wine (given to me earlier by my husband), I caught up on a couple emails, and I am getting ready to stoke the wood stove. My wonderful husband is up in his office working hard to keep a roof over our heads and our bellies full of good things, like wine and chocolate. I am not complaining.
But I do complain. We all complain. We get tired of the same old, same old and pretend there’s something better. Sometimes we delude ourselves so much that we have to invite others to our pity party and help them become deluded, too. Instead of drinking fine wine, we end up drinking the Kool-Aid.
One way we do this is by forming the Discontented Women’s Club. You can recognize the Red Hat Society ladies by their ornate red hats and purple attire. You can often locate the members of the DWC by their frowns and wordy wrangling over petty things. Looking for an outlet for our discontent, we look for loose threads to tug on, and sometimes we keep pulling until the whole sweater is unraveled.

The DWC is one club from which I would like to revoke my membership. It’s not always easy to resign from it, though, as many women find. Nancy Leigh DeMoss, in Lies Women Believe: And the Truth That Sets Them Free writes:
For reasons we cannot fully understand, Satan chose to target the woman for his strategy of deception. Twice in the New Testament the apostle Paul points out that it was the woman who was deceived: “The serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty” (2 Corinthians 11:3 KJV); “Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived” (1 Timothy 2:14).
Some theologians believe there was something in the way Eve was created that made her more vulnerable to deception—that she was inherently more “temptable,” or “seducible.” Others suggest that because God had placed her under the headship of her husband, once she stepped out from under that spiritual covering and protection, she was more easily deceived.
Regardless, the point is that as fallen women, we are particularly prone to fall prey to Satan’s deception. Remember that he did not first approach the man; he deliberately approached and deceived the woman. It was the woman who led her husband into sin, and together they led the whole human race into sin (though Adam, as head, is held ultimately responsible). I believe there is something significant about that progression and that, to this day, there is a unique sense in which Satan targets women for deception. This is part of his strategy. He knows that if we as women buy into his deception, we will influence the men around us to sin (Carmon sez: and other women, too), and our sinful choices will set a pattern for subsequent generations to follow.
Sometimes, as was the case with Eve, Satan deceives us directly. Sometimes, however, he uses other people as instrument of deception.
In the fifth chapter of Ephesians, Paul warns, “Let no one deceive you with empty words” (v.6). Repeatedly, he challenges God’s people to speak Truth to one another. When we are not honest with each other, we actually do Satan’s work for him, acting as his agents, deceiving and destroying each other.
Truth is what is at stake here. But we are not defending the truth when we use means that God abhors to do so. We are making a mockery of it. Let us be gracious, content women, who don’t need to chase after online ambulances to add a little excitement to our lives. For many of us, our lives are plenty exciting as it is, and very blessed, if we would only have eyes to see it. Go give your husband a big kiss and tell him “thank you” for putting up with all he does, especially for putting up with you
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November 27th, 2007 at 4:26 am
I wonder if the woman was more susceptible to deception because she hadnt been taught by her husband.
But the serpent was more crafty (do you see JCM’s surname there? tee hee)….
And the topics are the privilege of being a woman and the sin of discontent, so I will try and stay on topic….later
November 27th, 2007 at 4:38 am
“thank you†for putting up with all he does, especially for putting up with you
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Carmon,
Amen to my Steve having to put up with me! ;o)
I have really appreciated these reminders!
Love, Heather
November 27th, 2007 at 6:36 am
So right on, Carmon.
November 27th, 2007 at 6:38 am
Carmon,
That was a wonderful post and reminder.
I seem to have a lot of “Lucy…..!” moments with my husband. (As in Lucille Ball)
My husband definitely puts up with a lot from me and I love him all the more for it.
Blessings to you and yours.
P.S. I really liked your “Instead of drinking fine wine, we end up drinking the Kool-Aid” line. That was brilliant!
November 27th, 2007 at 8:46 am
Signing up as another women with a wonderful God-fearing GOOD MAN who blesses his family daily. And still, I find reason to complain :-/. It makes one realize how impossibly depraved we (ie: mankind in general) are. Indeed we seem to have an inate inability to see ourselves as we truly are.
November 27th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
I like the Chesterton quote. I was just telling one of my young men the other day that we women have a lot more control over our environments than men do. I get to decide within certain parameters what I’m going to put at the top of my list, and what I’m going to spend my time on. I was musing that it must be hard, to always have to defer to what someone else thinks is important. Even when I have to defer to a wish of my husband…we have the same goals and are on the same team, so it is really a joy, not a restraint.
Love you, my dear lady, especially for the wisdom that you share with us, and the vulnerability that you risk out here on the ‘net!
November 27th, 2007 at 2:55 pm
Oh, I love the Chesterson quote. I often think this when I am at my husband’s office. Not one of his six female staff members would switch places with me and give up their careers, but I think it’s terribly ironic that while they work on a time clock for my husband, I am freely going about my day on no one else’s time clock or agenda, save the Lord’s. So who’s really the liberated one? On top of it, my best friend recently pointed out that not only are they not home being their own husband’s helpmeet, they are spending their days as my husband’s helpers, earning his business money that ultimately supports… me.
I am very, very thankful for a man who listens to God and works hard to provide for the ten of us. But I, too, complain. I’ll confess right here that I was just thinking about what I *hope* he gets me for Christmas when the Holy Spirit kindly (but firmly) kicked me in the rear and told me to knock it off. I wish I would shut up sometimes and head that still, small voice before opening my sinful, discontent mouth.
Thanks for your faithfulness. Hey– when are we northern CA’s getting together for coffee and chocolate?
November 28th, 2007 at 10:04 am
Great post, Carmon! The spirit of discontentment in women just smacks of pride and lack of faith in God. We (women) think we know better than the Lord what we need and then we whine when we don’t get it. Ugh!